Today, I heard grunting noises from my brother's room, like when he's having a seizure, so I went in to help. And now I need brain bleach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML
Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML
Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML
Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML
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Top comments
AnthraxPrincess 18
Well, at least you were concerned about your brother and turns out he was totally fine. Imagine if you didn't go check on him and it was really a seizure. Fyl, though, OP. Hope you can get that image out of your mind someday.
feven 32
At least he didn't actually have a seizure.
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Comments (85)
Odin1624 12
That's pretty rough, fyl for getting punished for trying to help your brother
ThrottleJockey 36
Well, he WAS kind of having a seizure, or maybe a type of stroke.
wierd_norwegian 6
lots of "strokes" I guess......
OhPuhleeze 23
"like when he's having a seizure" suggests that he does have a medical condition and you have attended to him in such situations in the past. It is unfortunate you saw something you didn't want, but 1)better safe than sorry and 2)it's a FYL for both of you. I hope for your brothers sake he stops making those noises and you don't have to be in that situation again, or in a situation where he needs you. Hope your brother gets well soon and time will help you bleach out those memories.
eternal_screams 14
Oh no. Oh NO.
chucklesman96 13
*screams eternally*
kudoosh 9
And that's why I always knock lmao
ndts 4
I bet he's going to be real quite from now on
SnailMail 12
Exactly the same happened to me when I was younger. Rushed in just in time to see a girl hide under the covers.
toaster87 19
Let's be honest, as a non medical professional there isn't much you could have done if he was having a seizure that couldn't have been done after a quick knock.
DoomedGemini 38
From my understanding there are ways for you to position them and if needed you can call a medical professional. It's implied he's had seizures, op and their family have probably learned how to help.
manuwish 9
be glad it wasn't a seizure and tell him to put a sock on the doorknob next time (:
Thoughtfulelf123 3
There is this magical thing called knocking. If he was having a seizure, he wouldn't he Ave answered. If he was masterbating, he would have.