Today, I heard grunting noises from my brother's room, like when he's having a seizure, so I went in to help. And now I need brain bleach. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML
Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML
Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML
Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML
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Top comments
AnthraxPrincess 18
Well, at least you were concerned about your brother and turns out he was totally fine. Imagine if you didn't go check on him and it was really a seizure. Fyl, though, OP. Hope you can get that image out of your mind someday.
feven 32
At least he didn't actually have a seizure.
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Comments (85)
tntscl 4
I like leaving my door unlocked or masturbating in public. Half the fun is the fear of being caught.
jbivens1992 17
You would have felt a million times worse had you ignored him and he would have been having a seizure. But you have my sympathy nonetheless...that's just something nobody needs to experience. Someday though...when the shock and horror of it lessens you may be able to laugh about it.
beardeddentist 3
Finally someone from the same state and country, it's not always you see a Malaysian posting on this site
Neorecon19 18
Talk about a no-win situation
abNormal62 23
I take it he already had things well in hand....
RichardPencil 32
Luckily, you didn't walk in on the moment of truth -- you might need Clorox bleach and steel wool as well as brain bleach.
loganr01 7
if you drink the bleach it will reach you brain faster
qteabutt 12
Well it was a 50/50 chance. At least you got the least worse choice.
EliGolsdworthy 7
So was he masterbuating or was he having sex it can only be one of those lol
cuz803 46
The **** is 'masterbating'?
ham_spam 17
Well did he cum :)