Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, my brother met my girlfriend for the first time. Instead of making a good first impression, the first thing he did was talk about how he just took a massive dump and didn't wipe very well, and that's why his hand smelled bad. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I had my first astounding orgasm, during which I simultaneously shat myself and vomited. I'm so thankful my new partner was present. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
How romantic. Your brother made sure that your first oral sex experience is one you'll never forget.
Quasar55_fml 18
I bet he's been refraining just for that one moment :D
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Comments (60)
chrstygrl06 10
Take it like a man!
flamingice 0
But OP's a woman???
Shadow_Phantom 26
That they are...
rawr9able 4
O.o ydi for doing that near a bathroom with people in the house. Could of been worse; nothing like a loud ripe shit happening near you.
zom_fml 10
There aren't many other places she can do it if her room is next to the bathroom and her family are in the house..
Immersion 0
2 girls ftw pics or it didn't happen :)
chrstygrl06 10
I just assumed that every1luvsboners. So, naturally figured it was a slip of the finger when the OP sent this FML.
Quasar55_fml 18
I bet he's been refraining just for that one moment :D
rottentomatoes 7
Haha, turn off
Doortje 30
How romantic. Your brother made sure that your first oral sex experience is one you'll never forget.
zom_fml 10
Sucks. Our housemate came in drunk and did this same thing while my bf and I were having sex. He also left us to clean up the vom he'd left all over the toilet seat the next day. :/
ceva_fml 1
hell of a finish right ?
Trupe 3
Well at least your girlfriend wasn't the one vomiting.....could be worse.
DaveOnDope 4
No no no, that costs extra.
Immersion 0
heard u the first time :p
ambowew 7
He must have been peeking and caught you two in the act. Remember that innocent people are in the house, next time.
DaveOnDope 4
That one wins so far.
Zebidee 9
Seriously, what the hell, comment bug...
UpsidedownKayak 9
He probably had himself some rotten fish taco and was feeling the effects. You should be glad that it wasn't your girlfriend that ran to the bathroom to vomit. Just keep yourself cheese free and she will go downtown on you again. Then, you will get your O-face.