Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I walked in on one of my co-workers jerking off in the bathroom, complete with heavy breathing and victory groans. I don't want to go to HR, but I can't even look at him anymore. We have to work on a project together next week. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML
Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML
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Top comments
mindless_fml 0
That exact thing happened to me, but it was my high school principal.
TC_fml 0
Either way, if he was pleasuring himself, this is the time to break out the recorder ;-) Make sure to bring it up slyly at the next performance review.
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Comments (34)
Max1468 4
A new term I learned: spanking the monkey. use it and love it.
kiefenator 0
jerking the turkey, choking your chicken, beat your meat, striking oil, and the list goes on
kiefenator 0
because your buttcheeks don't go *fap fap fap* as you poop.
JusQ17 4
what an epic bamf
zwcs 4
Omg do men really do that in public places lmao. ewwww
mdailey 0
that's funny
Nocantell 3
YOu can't look at him in the face, that would be the only place I would be trying to look at. Hoping my eyes don't go anywhere else.
9R1NC3S5 0
Haha…???? That's hilarious.
aifen7053 1
Sew him for scarring you mentally.
britzy_03 19
Learn to spell
raesos91 26
ha ha, you should've asked him, "so we CAN jerk off at work!?"
alicelouise66 5
you heard him Jack off and he heard you take a shit. sounds about even. ydi1