Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I slipped and sprained my ankle while shopping for a present for my husband, who later came home and tripped over my elevated leg, hurting my ankle again. Now I have an excruciating sprain, and a spouse who's furious at me because, I "shouldn't have tried to surprise him." FML
Today, after slipping on my stairs and spraining my ankle, I got a brace and crutches at urgent care. When I went to get into my car, my crutch slipped on some paper and I fell. I crawled back into urgent care, only to learn that my sprained ankle is now broken in 2 places. FML
Today, I’m on vacation with my fiancé and his kids. We came to see a wedding venue. Too bad I severely sprained my ankle. I also sprained that same ankle when he proposed. FML
Today, after my at-the-time partner got in a car wreck with minimal injuries, I drove two hours and got a week off classes to take care of them on hand and foot, they are currently my platonic roommate and I nearly broke my foot… and they keep acting annoyed when I ask for something because I can't walk. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML
Today, I had to choose between being in excruciating pain and having a happy significant other by doing housework, or resting my sprained ankle and having my significant other pissed off at me because she thinks I’m milking it. She went to bed two hours ago and I can barely move it. Guess which I chose. FML
Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment is for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket, because walking is "too painful." FML
Today, three days into my vacation, I ended up spraining not one, but BOTH of my ankles. Now my entire vacation will be spent healing. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me for not helping her rearrange the furniture. I have a sprained shoulder and have been ordered by my doctor to avoid heavy lifting. She said, "Move the couch or sleep on it." FML
Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML
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Top comments
emeraldisle 30
It may seem mean to you but maybe he's trying to make you laugh and feel better. I know it would work on me.
olpally 33
Awww, that's cute. Give him credit for having a sense of humor about your injury/condition and trying to cheer you up. he's a funny one. Lol :)
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Comments (79)
Enslaved 38
I think that's cute. Prime example where, "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery". Now get him to make you a sandwich.
eggmarie 25
That's how I kept picturing it too! "It could be worse, it could be raining" great movie.
theycallmekitty 13
I recently tore the cartilage in my knee and has had to wear a brace and yes I limp a little. My mom did the same thing except she grossly exaggerated it complete with faces and "duuuuh" noises. We were in public....I feel your pain girl!
j_dixie 3
Hey, I know what the armpit thing is like. Keep an eye on it. You may have to go to the doctor and have them splice it and drain it. They are sometimes from shaving and it's a hair that got locked under there. Change the deodorant you use, the shaver you use and the type of shaving cream. Usually that's why it happens.
GarysMom725 10
And yet you still call him your fiancé. You want to be married to this rude person?
redmane 21
It's called a sense of humor. This suggestion is a little over the top.
EpicSquishii 21
Oh boohoo, "the man I love and want to spend my life with made fun of me, I'm breaking up with him for having a sense of humor." Get real. I bet your first divorce was due to your husband pushing you in the pool, huh?
benhd1 14
With that attitude I guess that Gary grew up with a single mother.
conor12 5
Lol okay admit that's kind of funny
Ray_of_midnight 23
Yeah, tell him "It's pronounced 'EYE-gore.'"
melacortez 11
Z_Diggy 8
I like your name
DanielleinDC 34
I'm sorry, that really does suck, but at least he has a sense of humor, even if he forgets that Igor is the one who says, "Yes, Master."