Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I slipped and sprained my ankle while shopping for a present for my husband, who later came home and tripped over my elevated leg, hurting my ankle again. Now I have an excruciating sprain, and a spouse who's furious at me because, I "shouldn't have tried to surprise him." FML
Today, after slipping on my stairs and spraining my ankle, I got a brace and crutches at urgent care. When I went to get into my car, my crutch slipped on some paper and I fell. I crawled back into urgent care, only to learn that my sprained ankle is now broken in 2 places. FML
Today, I’m on vacation with my fiancé and his kids. We came to see a wedding venue. Too bad I severely sprained my ankle. I also sprained that same ankle when he proposed. FML
Today, after my at-the-time partner got in a car wreck with minimal injuries, I drove two hours and got a week off classes to take care of them on hand and foot, they are currently my platonic roommate and I nearly broke my foot… and they keep acting annoyed when I ask for something because I can't walk. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML
Today, I had to choose between being in excruciating pain and having a happy significant other by doing housework, or resting my sprained ankle and having my significant other pissed off at me because she thinks I’m milking it. She went to bed two hours ago and I can barely move it. Guess which I chose. FML
Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment is for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket, because walking is "too painful." FML
Today, three days into my vacation, I ended up spraining not one, but BOTH of my ankles. Now my entire vacation will be spent healing. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me for not helping her rearrange the furniture. I have a sprained shoulder and have been ordered by my doctor to avoid heavy lifting. She said, "Move the couch or sleep on it." FML
Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML
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Top comments
emeraldisle 30
It may seem mean to you but maybe he's trying to make you laugh and feel better. I know it would work on me.
olpally 33
Awww, that's cute. Give him credit for having a sense of humor about your injury/condition and trying to cheer you up. he's a funny one. Lol :)
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Comments (79)
MeLikeBigBoom 8
Tell him to stop, problem solved, I'm sure your HUSBAND would be nice enough to understand.
Welshite 40
It's the day to shout out random words, Noor. Like this... TURTLE!!!
lilhellian 27
PETER PIED PICKLES!
WeAreRisen 6
SPIDERMAN
ManInTheMachine 20
BACON!
gribbles 12
PURPLE SPIDER-MAN BACON
olpally 33
****!
kakarot2 11
CHUCK NORRIS
ICastillo 25
OP just stand over him when he is sleeping until he wakes up, and then yell "It's Alive!!" Do an evil laugh and limp away.
biloxi_girl 22
Yes!
tacojauns 45
Come on that's little funny (to us) but I feel your pain I broke my leg and my friend did the same thing, you kind of feel like shit if someone is mocking how you walk.
BubbleGrunge 18
Hot compress on the cyst, OP. It will pull the infection to the surface and you can pop it. Or, at least, that's what I've done in the past! Those are unbelievably uncomfortable, and I hope you feel better soon!! :(
VannahJane 17
He's got a good sense of humor!
perdix 31
At least he is accpeting your orders. He could do his HAL impression and say, "No, Dave, I can't do that."
simonetaylor94 6
haha thts funny
perdix 31
Hey, he's sticking around. Most guys would just hang out at strip clubs until you become less gross.
zandalee 20
Or demand she make him a sammich or get the bash...
metalhead4740 14
If he calls you master, abuse the power. Instant payback...
SadGirl18 16
At least he has a sense of humour. :) He's just trying to lighten the mood, OP. :)