Me at lunchtime By Lewis - 12/12/2018 00:30 Why have I to be polite? I agree, your life sucks 266 You deserved it 64 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML I agree, your life sucks 12 633 You deserved it 1 565
Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML I agree, your life sucks 66 181 You deserved it 20 862
Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 708 You deserved it 2 400
Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 743 You deserved it 3 438
Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 324 You deserved it 9 945
Today, I came home upset about the sexism in my work place. I just wanted to be alone, but my husband insisted we talk about it. I noticed he kept looking over and one of his hands was moving. He was playing video games the entire time I was spilling my guts. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 182 You deserved it 248
Today, after I let my job know I needed time off for a friend's funeral a week ahead of time and they declined to approve it, telling me to call in sick, the day of the funeral arrived and I called in sick, only to come back to a write-up and threats of being fired for not getting it approved in advance. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 213 You deserved it 94
Today, my boyfriend went to see his ex, who is still friends with him, at her house to comfort her because her mom died. I found out after doing some Facebook stalking that her mom is very much alive. I called him on the phone to call him out on his lie. He responded that he meant her “stepmother” not biological mother. Right. FML I agree, your life sucks 450 You deserved it 141