Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going to be sick, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, I fainted, and fell back against the wall. When I came around, I immediately vomited all down my body, in my hair, and all over the floor. My cat judged me. FML
Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
Today, while I was vacuuming, my cat got scared and tripped me. I landed on the vacuum handle between my legs. Not walking too well right now. FML
Today, I was walking down the hallway when I stepped in an ice cold pile of cat vomit. I was barefoot. FML
Today, because I have an inner ear problem which gives me major vertigo and nausea, I spontaneously projectile vomited all over my bathroom. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML
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Top comments
MysticPizza 15
"Pinwheel of Vomit" might make a good metal band name LOL
pjsr 33
That's an acrobatic act to begin the year with. Happy New Year OP!
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Comments (40)
FrostedCake 13
I can't get the image of out of my head of someone doing a pinwheel of vomit.
XxGaLaXy_HiTzxX 14
Piece if shit. YDI
mads_fml 7
Wow
MzZombicidal 36
Wtf?
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Cats are evil, pure evil.
divinorum11 11
I think you mean purrr evil. And actually, they're just philanthropically challenged.
Krycek_fml 19
you should cut out the piece of wall you puked on and sell it as modern art.
spacefish966 18
That sucks op but...I would pay good money to see that
whyisitincapital 25
Hmmm, pinwheel of vomit. It brings up quite a bizarre mental image...
skycollapsed 5
that sucks. try eating raw chili. i do this when i get stomach bugs.
tranced_ 45
cats enjoy dribbling around our legs when we least expect it! and in an attempt to not step on them we trip and fall
ssnow_fml 20
and people wonder why I'm a dog person.
latchhooker 17
I have cats and dogs. The dogs love to trip me and do so more than the 5 cats combined. The joys on having a Doxie and a Beagle. I used to have bigger dogs that used to trip me too ("take out the knees" or go under me so it was like I was suddenly on a horse). My cats are more known for sleeping on my bed, my chair, or walking across my laptop. One of them likes to sleep on my shoulders when I'm sitting up (and digs her claws in if I move). She's on my bed right now.
lalaney 14
I hate cats.