Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, my cat ate the dog's food and is now very sick. For the third time. The first time he did it, I was concerned; second time, I was confused. Now I realize he's just an idiot. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML
Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML
Today, my little Pomeranian dog got onto the kitchen bench by jumping onto the washing basket, the bookcase, and over the window sill, and ate my daughter's birthday cake while I was in the bathroom. FML
Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML
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Top comments
ariverperson 11
the cats food is kept on the dining room table? ew...
Bob_Cat_fml 14
Genius enough to understand that you can be tricked every day the same way …
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Comments (68)
CheeseHater 23
I have experience with animals, and they aren't smart, they think they can get away with anything and will never give up until they get it. Okay, they are geniuses.
lilhellian 27
Some animals are smart. Cats they learned how to be lazy and make humans worship them. Monkies they can learn the American Sign Language.
nictransitglory 4
Your dog can get a job at an apple store as a genius. He'll fit right in!
chell1894 13
My Moms dog would always leave her room at night jump from the table into the trash can (he's like 8 pounds) and then sit in there whining until someone came and got him. Stupid dog..
Bob_Cat_fml 14
Genius enough to understand that you can be tricked every day the same way …
Inheritance 10
Or keep it there wait for the dog to jump up, then simply remove the cat food, and leave him up there for awhile and teach him a lesson.
mowmowlife 21
OP is insane
Luxord33 8
#36- AGREED! That's what I would do!
ariverperson 11
the cats food is kept on the dining room table? ew...
oj101 33
I've heard worse. A person I know keeps a pet tortoise that lives in a drawer at the bottom of his closet.
danielnieves 4
The cat on the table is way worse the a turtle in a drawer
Marrach 7
Grilled salmon? Tofu anyone?
chell1894 13
Op keeps it there because all dogs LOVE cat food. Cats are carnivores and their food is extremely meaty while dogs are omnivores and their food isn't nearly as meaty. It's like a dog treat to them. We have to keep ours on a small end table in the spare room or shut the cats with their food and everything.
allforus 5
Yeah. I agree. Used kitty litter paws on the table. Gag.
Jennielee 6
Exactly! Cats walk in their own crap. I have three and none of them are allowed on counters or tables. They are very well behaved......when I'm looking anyway.
chris_42 11
You should probably put the cat food somewhere where the dog can't. reach it to avoid his whole situation in the first place.
oj101 33
I always put one dog in a separate, closed off room to feed him (pantry) whilst my other dog eats in the cloak room at the same time. That way, they don't steal each others food and they clearly know the boundaries.
NickyK 25
Find a place for the cat's food that is inaccessible for the dog. Problem solved :)
spaboolly 26
Dogs like to think they can do cat things, until they realize their lack of agility and climbing skills. One time my dog managed to climb up onto our kitchen counter, where the cats were fed and liked to hang out, and I just found her wandering around up there looking totally lost. I'd suggest moving the cat food bowl or rearranging the furniture so that the dog can't get up there again.
zingline89 18
Your dog should work for Apple
ChefPhilly 13
You should google how to stop this..
zenrael 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ok first off, why is there cat food on the dining room table? Also, don't let the damn god up on the tables!
magicbear 3
Op isn't asking for advice. Just sharing a funny story. It's her table and obviously she has no problem sharing it with her cat ( neither would I)
zingline89 18
Yeah! Don't let Krishna on the table!
chell1894 13
It's on the table because dogs love cat food and will eat it all. Cats are carnivores and their food is extremely meaty while dogs are omnivores so their food isn't nearly as meaty. Cat food is like a treat to them. So you have to put it somewhere dogs can't get to.
PsycoChic 6
THANK YOU!!!!! I was wondering that myself.
htownpostman 16
So the dog is a bitch...serves it well