Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was going to be sick, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, I fainted, and fell back against the wall. When I came around, I immediately vomited all down my body, in my hair, and all over the floor. My cat judged me. FML
Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
Today, while I was vacuuming, my cat got scared and tripped me. I landed on the vacuum handle between my legs. Not walking too well right now. FML
Today, I was walking down the hallway when I stepped in an ice cold pile of cat vomit. I was barefoot. FML
Today, because I have an inner ear problem which gives me major vertigo and nausea, I spontaneously projectile vomited all over my bathroom. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML
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Top comments
MysticPizza 15
"Pinwheel of Vomit" might make a good metal band name LOL
pjsr 33
That's an acrobatic act to begin the year with. Happy New Year OP!
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Comments (40)
mld4657 28
I can't get this image out of my head.. Im sorry O.P. I hope you feel better soon though. Even though I can't stop laughing.
Steve7910 6
That's what you get for having a cat
meegal 12
Dogs > cats. Dogs are the superior Pet. YDI.
Reedenator 3
Just today?
gobiteme2 34
Sounds like a kaleidoscope of color.
USSRNAME 11
That would have been sick!
da_epic_failman 7
Oh. My. Goodness. ?????
ADDiva 12
You may not have luck on your side, but at least you have a flair language that elicits remarkably vivid, empathy-inducing comic imagery. Bravo! Thanks for sharing your cringe-worthy moment. Hope you're well inside and out and your environment has returned to its former vomit free status. I imagine cleaning that up added insult to injury.
delichick 27
Im sorry, but pinwheel of vomit is awesome! Sorry my cats, and ones Ive had before are and were evil enough to do that - if I had stairs..I had one who was constantly under foot, everyone eventually tripped over him