Today, I arrived to apply for my much-needed dream job. Without warning, just as the elevator opened, a complete stranger kicked me square in the nads. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into a door on my way in to an interview, in front of the interviewer and a group of people waiting to be interviewed. FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, I got my period two days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML
Today, while waiting for an interview at the career that I've been spending months tailoring my résumé for, I was thrown up on by my only competitor. Guess who got the job. FML
Today, I went in for an interview at my dream job. When I walked in, I got a dirty look from the front desk secretary. Turns out, the guy interviewing me was from a dating website I'm on. I'd rejected him and told him to get a life. FML
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was late for work and sprinted to catch the elevator. I made it just in time, only to realize I was in the elevator alone and had just dramatically dived into it for no reason. FML
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, I had an interview for a job I’ve dreamt about. I sat down in the lobby and spilled coffee on my crotch. I tried to dry it in the toilet, which made it look like I’d pissed myself. When I entered his office, the HR guy glanced down and said, “Long morning?” I panicked and replied, “No, just excited to be here.” FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Ouch. That's not the best way to meet your rival. Did you beat him to the job?
julfunky 29
Well that sounds like an odd dream job.
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Comments (11)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Ouch. That's not the best way to meet your rival. Did you beat him to the job?
julfunky 29
Well that sounds like an odd dream job.
bidet 10
you're wanting to work at a junior high school?
ojosRojos 28
Well ain’t that a kick in the pants?
bl3ur0z3 17
No. It's a kick in the bass. Which may or may not be in the pants.
bl3ur0z3 17
*nads f*ing autocorrect.
Togapika 4
I guess this was your first test...icles
jkjorn 18
Could be worse- there was a case here recently where a hospital pharmacist was shot when her elevator door opened, by a guy who'd just killed his fiance & a cop out in the parking lot, then decided to continue his rampage inside :(
mattyiscool123 26
Nads...that’s a new one