Today, I have a really high fever and my sister thought I was hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish, but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on my floor. I live with my family and it was a hot summer day. Woke up in a weird position, drooling and wearing only a bra and mini shorts. I looked up and saw my thirteen year-old sister and her friends chilling all around my room. I tried to yell at them but my voice was too rusty. FML
Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML
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Top comments
Godsofdracos 15
I'll take an order of scrambled please! Is it possible to get bacon with that?
ItsMissLia 19
Try make it to the bathroom & take a nice cold refreshing shower. It'll cool you down from the fever plus rid the egg smell :) hope you feel better soon OP!
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Comments (57)
aaron44 16
OP must've not been too egg-static about the fact that his sister cracked an egg on his back.
tysonx23 4
Would you man up. so what. Geez
VaishakHolla 14
She's got to be a blonde!
Chezzlova 5
That's.... that's pretty gross.
Sandman366 6
I'm sorry that my first reaction was to laugh....hard. Still, at least it wasn't a rotten egg, right? (Trust me. You would be twice as miserable smelling one of those.)
JJ_86 22
It's time OP's sister grow out of the shell. Then OP can be eggslirated.
ihatedouchbags 17
At least it wasn't your hair.
sometimessam 16
I can't. I just feel so eggstremely bad for OP and her sticky situation.
lina21 12
Please tell us your sister's 5 or something that would explain her being a complete dolt. Sorry OP. Otherwise, I'm just left assuming she's spiteful and you have a hateful relationship
imnotanybody 2
Let me guess: you're her brother. Also, get well soon.