Today, I have a really high fever and my sister thought I was hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish, but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on my floor. I live with my family and it was a hot summer day. Woke up in a weird position, drooling and wearing only a bra and mini shorts. I looked up and saw my thirteen year-old sister and her friends chilling all around my room. I tried to yell at them but my voice was too rusty. FML
Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Godsofdracos 15
I'll take an order of scrambled please! Is it possible to get bacon with that?
ItsMissLia 19
Try make it to the bathroom & take a nice cold refreshing shower. It'll cool you down from the fever plus rid the egg smell :) hope you feel better soon OP!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (57)
ohSNAPyall 27
Doesn't she know? You're supposed to *starve* a fever!
Liiiiiiiiike 15
She must have been fried
AlyssaDiannaa 20
I bet that was eggciting for her
LifeAlertTwerk 14
Time for the egg jokes? Let's get cracking guys.
cakefete2 31
Eggs-ellent idea, egg-cept I can't think of any.
worldclassrager 41
Maybe a skillet would help
DatPiggahDoe 10
Guess she finds you hot... Be happy.
NotDarkKnight 27
I'm guessing your sister isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.
can_you_not_ 10
Did it work though?
peepeebandit 16
Mmm breakfast. Look on the bright side, if you're lucky, you might get an omelet :D