Today, I have a really high fever and my sister thought I was hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish, but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on my floor. I live with my family and it was a hot summer day. Woke up in a weird position, drooling and wearing only a bra and mini shorts. I looked up and saw my thirteen year-old sister and her friends chilling all around my room. I tried to yell at them but my voice was too rusty. FML
Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML
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Top comments
Godsofdracos 15
I'll take an order of scrambled please! Is it possible to get bacon with that?
ItsMissLia 19
Try make it to the bathroom & take a nice cold refreshing shower. It'll cool you down from the fever plus rid the egg smell :) hope you feel better soon OP!
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Comments (57)
Meowzerz208 7
Ouch. Sisters, I guess
Life_is_FML 22
Perhaps OP's sister was just trying to compliment her (hotness)
Testing1234 25
No just no #43
Godsofdracos 15
I'll take an order of scrambled please! Is it possible to get bacon with that?
Satoshi08 5
I prefer my eggs "fertilized."
triplebeerox 27
#22 That song cracks me up! "How you like your eggs girl? Fried or fertilized?"
ItsMissLia 19
Try make it to the bathroom & take a nice cold refreshing shower. It'll cool you down from the fever plus rid the egg smell :) hope you feel better soon OP!
Chibitalia180 6
Just make sure you don't accidentally cook eggs in your hair! :)
Karenezzy 20
I would've never thought about doing such thing. Pretty clever!
sexyboi1985 27
What an awesome sister !
lil_miss_simran 15
how old is your sister? sorry about the egg
Grants_69 2
How old was the egg? Sorry about your sister
swaroop2615 5
LOL
sugar94_fml 17
Depending on how old OPs sister is, I'm sure we can make some sort of egg-ception about this incident.
cyttex 13
Did it at least sizzle? :p
feelingold 18
Just like in Hot Shots...
badluckalex 23
you just laid there? take a shower... then, when youre feeling better, get your sister back by farting bare ass in her face while she sleeps. problem solved!
Axel5238 29
I'd say Vaseline on the toilet seat, if they are in a hurry to put it's great when the slide off the toilet.
allisoncat7 8
Omg #13 I've never heard of that one. That's a good revenge prank!
ihpp 22
sisters, eh? feel better OP.
JRtheSnowman 5
But did it work?