Today, I have a really high fever and my sister thought I was hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish, but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on my floor. I live with my family and it was a hot summer day. Woke up in a weird position, drooling and wearing only a bra and mini shorts. I looked up and saw my thirteen year-old sister and her friends chilling all around my room. I tried to yell at them but my voice was too rusty. FML
Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML
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Top comments
Godsofdracos 15
I'll take an order of scrambled please! Is it possible to get bacon with that?
ItsMissLia 19
Try make it to the bathroom & take a nice cold refreshing shower. It'll cool you down from the fever plus rid the egg smell :) hope you feel better soon OP!
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Comments (57)
aimzskee 30
Did that leave you feeling a little scrambled?
I_Am_Melanie 15
Did you at least get to eat the fried egg?
MidnaLink 35
I don't think I'd want fried egg that's been cooked on my skin.
itsalanis 25
So much for breakfast in bed. Depending on the age of your sister, I'm not sure if I should get a slight laugh, or be a bit more irked about it, heh.
2i1337i2iscore 13
That's an FAL-- F** Awesome Life moment right there lol
PoppyBear45 6
If you want the egg scrambled, rather than fried, just roll over. This is the new "all-natural" way of preparing eggs, though it may be unsanitary. In all seriousness, I send my best wishes that you get well soon.
conman531 23
I like my sisters the way I like my eggs: scrambled
91hayek 31
Next you two will be trying to boil water by sticking your head in a bucket.
kenoswild 14
A high fever is serious. It's nothing to crack up about. hope you recovered nicely and had a shower since the making of this fml.
Crofty92 17
Should have done some bacon with it.
stargirl_95 24
How old is your sister? A lot of cartoons especially the older ones like Tom and Jerry or Looney Tunes used to show eggs being fried on people (or animals) who had a fever. Maybe she wanted to see if they were right?