Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML
Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, my nose hair scares him. FML
Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML
Today, I decided to take a relaxing shower. My face mask made my face break out in hives. While exfoliating, my nipples became chafed. Then I slipped and cut myself while shaving. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
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Top comments
Roseicat 16
Double FYL.
maskedman 9
Holy hell. Are you allergic to getting dumped? If I had that type of allergy I wouldn't have survived middle school.
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Comments (117)
hwkfan1 10
maybe he wouldn't have broken up with you if you had just stayed in the kitchen no jk but that really sucks fyl
Monikabug 9
But surely people love those that prance about calling themselves "ThuhBoss," am O right? I am sure the girls go crazy over an egomaniac like you.
Monikabug 9
Pardon me. Am I* right?
mfmylifesrsly 30
77 uhmmm ugly??? I'm sorry I'm not vain but I know I'm not ugly, and you deff can't call Monika ugly. you obviously are self consious if you randomly call us ugly.
ThuhBoss 0
Woah woah woah woah woah, calm down. Everything's gonna be okay. No need to get mad. My girlfriend gets mad when she's on her period too. Ugly or not, FML isn't a kitchen, so shut up and go in one to make me a sandwich, 'kay? Thank you. <3
mfmylifesrsly 30
I am in the kitchen and I can't make you a sandwich I'm cooking dinner atm djielcnsueivk
DGross 8
#84... I don't know you for shit but I'm fairly sure there isn't much of a difference. You don't earn any respect here for the kitchen /period jokes... Any woman worth anything appreciates a guy who doesn't put down women to act cool... I'd really like to see a pic of you before you go calling these girls ugly. I think both are attractive and I believe most others will agree with me... I thought you were a troll who would only post once and then be on his way but now you're just digging a hole... Good Day Sir...
loski87 4
well everyone is entitled to their own opinion... just because you don't think they are ugly doesn't mean someone else won't... either way it was a rude post
akagron 0
#87 is such a win. Amen as well.
Frank155 5
FYL seriously