Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML
Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, my nose hair scares him. FML
Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML
Today, I decided to take a relaxing shower. My face mask made my face break out in hives. While exfoliating, my nipples became chafed. Then I slipped and cut myself while shaving. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
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Top comments
Roseicat 16
Double FYL.
maskedman 9
Holy hell. Are you allergic to getting dumped? If I had that type of allergy I wouldn't have survived middle school.
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Comments (117)
mfmylifesrsly 30
dgross is probably one of my favorite FMLers due to his respect for women :D
BlueTwist89 0
The tissue didn't have to have lotion or a scent to it. If your skin isn't used to the low quality tissues...like the generic brand. Almost like rubbing brown paper towel against your face..Usually o don't have a problem with Puffs, even if I use a lot. Anything else (in large quantities) bothers my nose/face.
ThuhBoss 0
Jesus Christ, everyone's going anal these days. Calm down, it was a joke. I'm sorry it was a mean post. You two are pretty, not snickers so much, but you two aren't ugly. As for me, I probably am ugly, so sorry. Happy?
BlueTwist89 0
I* don't
whoabuck 0
@snickerdoodles can you switch your picture to something better looking... like a demented whale?
DGross 8
ThuhBoss...next time you joke just be sure to add a jk or a :-P or something... otherwise after three posts of trashing on the ladies it kinda ...sorta... makes you look like an asshole... just saying To mfmylifesrsly and the others... thanks for the support but I'm honestly just being myself. People think because they are on the internet they can say whatever they want and get away with it. I'm up for a good time as much as the next person (just ask some of my college friends :-P) and I don't mind taking or dishing out a joke or two but there is a line and ThuHBoss crossed it before I don't take shit in real life, I don't let a GF take shit, and I'm not going to let three "lesbian" "ugly" "on her period" "sandwich-making" girls take shit...
twilight_0118 0
ok this is just my opinion, but snickerdoodles, monicabug, and mfmylifesrsly, I think you are all very beautiful and don't need to be listening to these jackasses. oh and a girl complimenting a girl doesn't mean they're lesbian. it's called being nice. OP: I'm so sorry that happened, as for the breakup, it'll pass and everything will be ok. as for the rash, throw away the tissues. lol
whoabuck 0
the other two are... snickerdoodles... yikes
deathcab7 0
dgross completley wins this whole conversation. :D
RRC_fml 0
twilight_0118* said it all:)