Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML
Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, my nose hair scares him. FML
Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML
Today, I decided to take a relaxing shower. My face mask made my face break out in hives. While exfoliating, my nipples became chafed. Then I slipped and cut myself while shaving. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
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Top comments
Roseicat 16
Double FYL.
maskedman 9
Holy hell. Are you allergic to getting dumped? If I had that type of allergy I wouldn't have survived middle school.
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Comments (117)
Mommy2KAR420 0
While you can definitely be having an allergy to the tissues, stress can induce a rash as well. Get some unscented tissues, ice cream, and a good movie and just relax. And I'm sorry that it was a double whammy.
DerangedFox 0
Thank you, nurse snickerdoodles, for those detailed instructions.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
♪ So it seems last night you caught me spanking it, No use denying it, I was really cranking it. Well, dry your eyes and don't be so sad. But I wouldn't go and use those tissues, They've already been had. ♪
xundria 5
lol bsr!
perdix 31
You're actually lucky. Right now, you are primed to make some really bad decisions. It's a good thing that you have been temporarily transformed into a hideous freak. It will prevent you from having angry, revenge sex with the first scumbag you come across. By the time your face clears up, so will have your mind.
ThuhBoss 0
A nurse AND an English teacher? In this economy? No wonder no one likes you.
dialpforpleasure 0
Man that sucks. Why do these manufacturers feel the need to just pu tall these ingredients and crap in EVERYTHING and then TELL us we need it? Part of me will always be mad at the general public for lapping that shit up and not taking responsibility for their health, but really, that sucks for you. Why can't tissues just be, you know, paper, like they have been for decades?
paperisuseful 0
it's their fault for her being allergic to the tissues? cut the crap.
dialpforpleasure 0
@36 You will retain the right to say "cut the crap" if you can cite one example in my comment that says, "It's their fault for being allergic to things". Because I'm looking at it right now and it doesn't say that at all. What I in fact said was it's a shame that commercials and society and the like try and TELL us what is good for us and we just go, "Oh OK, you're wearing a white coat, you must know!", rather than doing some research or getting a second opinion. The amount of health advice that people take from ******* commercials and not from listening to their OWN BODIES just sickens me. I did NOT say it's this poor girl's fault being allergic to an unnecessary ingredient in a piece of paper. And you know what? This FML demonstrates that she's listening TO HER BODY, and won't do it again, unlike some idiots who would keep using the tissues (despite knowing full well they're causing an allergic reaction) if it said in the box, "Anti-bacterial!!!! ;)" or something equally as stupid Why don't you read what's actually written before you go playing hero and look like more of an idiot?
unpossible 26
Hey, dialpforpleasure. You wanna know what I find funny?! You asked why tissue can't just be paper and a user with the name 'paperisuseful' told you to "cut the crap". Now if that isn't ironic, I don't know what is. Seriously, paperisuseful probably didn't mean to reply to you at all; the reaction didn't fit with your comment so it was probably intended for someone else.
boatkicker 5
There are plenty of just plain old tissues with no lotion or whatever. But they make your nose really raw after blowing your nose like.... twice. Really ridiculous. I like not hurting my nose. I don't buy the lotion-y tissues either though, because they make me feel greasy (lotion residue?) Just get a roll of extra-super-ridiculously-soft toilet paper. It's just paper, but its all soft and doesn't hurt. :D
qks19 0
so ur open for game? mmmm how u doin
KurouTenshi 0
it rubs the Kleenex on the skin--oh no! it got the rash again!! let's hope your next boyfriend doesn't lick it thinking it's pizza sauce.
KurouTenshi 0
also, something something something kleenex, something something something rash. just saying.
tomahawkinyouall 0
haha yeah the "cluster of zits"
Monikabug 9
I LOL'd at this. Family Guy references are the best! :)
applz_fml 0
jeezus shut up
paperisuseful 0
ydi for crying....
KurouTenshi 0
I know, right? how dare she show human emotion D: what the **** is her problem? having feelings and all. I mean. ****, man!!
mlipro 0
i agree. YDI for having emotions.
Monikabug 9
Some people. ._. FYI: he was being sarcastic. Get out more.