Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me the sauce he made for our dinner that was meat-based, trying to show me how nice meat is and stop me being a weirdo vegan. The reason I’m vegan is because my digestive system can’t handle animal protein. I’m writing this from the bathroom, vomiting myself to death. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I told my husband we should try go vegan for a while to see if there were any health benefits. He threw me over his shoulder and put me outside, because, “crazy plant ladies live outside with the other vegetables.” FML
Today, after weeks of me "forgetting" to buy meat and animal products, my husband asked to talk. I was hoping he was getting the hints that I wanted us to go vegan. He wanted me to get checked for early-onset dementia. FML
Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by saying, "Good morning! We're going to be vegans from now on." FML
Today, I fed my husband a vegan beef burger so I could show him that it tastes exactly the same when he didn’t notice. He noticed on the first bite and spat it across the kitchen because he thought the meat had expired before I cooked it, and tasted disgusting. FML
Today, I learned that the vomiting and uncontrollable flatulence I've been suffering from is normal with my new diet. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML
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Top comments
mega00ant 0
Bacon...who would give up bacon?!? I
Goatinsfriend 8
She made you go on the diet as well? I wouldn't go through with a vegan diet.
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Comments (86)
LQ_fml 4
I helped a friend research vegan diets and everything I looked at said going vegan CAN be healthy but it takes A LOT of work and careful monitoring by a nutritionist to make sure they are getting the right nutrients on such a restricted diet. But honestly, humans were made to eat meat. As much as we do? Well...there is debate on that. A friend went low carb and eats meat and veggies and fruit at every meal, has a 'cheat" day couple times a week and in almost a year has lost over 100lbs and is the healthiest she has ever been. All in all...like other's have said...don't let your wife force you to do anything. It's wrong of her. If she has a restricted diet due to medical concerns then you should support her. Not by adopting the whole diet but my modifying your habits so that they match hers at least when you dine with her.
edteach 0
taste is a great argument for eating something, why else would you want to keep eating it, who would want to live a 100 or so years eating stuff that tastes like crap ( not that all healthy food tastes bad) and pig fat is mono unsaturated ...
edteach 0
, no diet is better then any another, if you want to be healthy, eat what you want in moderation, and exercise, if you don't want to eat something with a face that's ok... more for me
edteach 0
I do blame part of global warming on vegans.... all those food things getting shipped around the world to where they either don't naturally grow, or do but are out of season... terrible
Xx3rdBASSxX 9
Im a vegan, and I don't get why everybody hates on vegans.
hateevryone 15
you can't stay away from fried chicken lol
zoethepooh 0
The vegan diet isn't good for you at all, I eat A LOT of meat, and always feel 100%.
mabeamon09 0
Rod is that you? Haha
edteach 0
lol I don't hate vegans... I mean cows taste amazing and i guess they are technically vegans... (any meat would be accidental), srsly tho eveyone has right to choose, even fruitarians
KatieKupcake4195 9
I was a vegetarian for about a year. I ended up gaining weight so I went back to eating meat and I'm now losing weight and feel healthier. Weird.