Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a roadtrip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML
Today, I have to spend the whole day in a moving truck with my dad. He had beans for dinner, and it's too cold to crack open a window. FML
Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Today, I met a truck driver at my job and he gave me some fatherly advice. The whole time I was listening, I was also thinking like, why didn't my dad stay and want to be in my life? FML
Today, barely 2 hours into a 5 hour car ride home, my mom accidentally let slip that she's been cheating on my dad. I had to sit with the bitch in a diner for ages while my dad bawled his eyes out alone in the car. FML
Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML
Today, my boyfriend's car broke down on the way to the gym, so he called his dad to give us a ride. On the way, his dad talked about how much he hates me and our relationship, as if I wasn’t sitting in the back seat directly behind them. FML
Today, my best friend and I got in a fight, and we have a 3 hour drive back home together. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
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Top comments
_kyleG_ 34
I mean at least you're going somewhere ni... Yeah, uh, sorry OP.
ModernZelda 19
Might want to invest in some nice noise-cancelling headphones for the next road trip.
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Comments (48)
Shadowvoid 33
I'm intrigued by this "chicks with dicks radio" if you could get someone to pitch me an idea for it, I may be able to get it on one of my local radio stations. Please leave a follow up
abNormal62 23
Well technically how they take it is also a personal choice and not open to judgement by others
SilverInGray 25
Yay let's joke about transmisogny.
Shadowvoid 33
Hey, if someone voluntarily signs up for "chicks with dicks radio" and happens to fit the radio description, then by all means that is their choice. I just wanted someone to pitch an idea, not pitch a fit. I'm all for gender equality and what not, but I'm not the most knowledgeable about that subject. I'm only here for humor.
SilverInGray 25
Still transmisogny, which is a thing that literally kills people so excuse me for not "lightening up"
SilverInGray 25
Or the phrase "chicks with dicks" is super transphobic and has been used in that way over and over to degrade and shame people... Oh that is right. Also, the fact that trans women are very very unaccepted and literally killed for being trans women. But yes, I'm just looking to be offended, murder isn't anything important or anything
SilverInGray 25
The phrase itself is inherently transphobic. Most fmls don't have transphobic phrases, no. Others do, sure. Most modern tv shows, movies, make transphobic jokes. That makes it worse, not better.
SkullsRules1 26
Next time bring an ipod, phone or something. Block them out
whitetiger13131 26
I seriously hope you're a dude because as a female who's been through a lot of that kind of stuff, it sucks.
WaltzingPhanthom 23
Please don't tell me you're a girl... Just please don't....
LeashaJoy5595 28
Sounds like oh so much fun. I'm sorry OP, there are some things you never want to think about relating to your dad, nonetheless hear him talk about it.
sousaphonist 14
"Chicks With Dicks Radio"? Sorry, you can't just get away with that, WHAT?!
Bragi 12
Was that a "Dixie Chicks" joke?
RR318 9
Self inflicted
IWishIWasObama 12
Oh quit bringing down your dad's fun with your lame attitude.
Exsequor 14
Yep, sure sounds like Ohio residents right there.