Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a roadtrip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML
Today, I have to spend the whole day in a moving truck with my dad. He had beans for dinner, and it's too cold to crack open a window. FML
Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Today, I met a truck driver at my job and he gave me some fatherly advice. The whole time I was listening, I was also thinking like, why didn't my dad stay and want to be in my life? FML
Today, barely 2 hours into a 5 hour car ride home, my mom accidentally let slip that she's been cheating on my dad. I had to sit with the bitch in a diner for ages while my dad bawled his eyes out alone in the car. FML
Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML
Today, my boyfriend's car broke down on the way to the gym, so he called his dad to give us a ride. On the way, his dad talked about how much he hates me and our relationship, as if I wasn’t sitting in the back seat directly behind them. FML
Today, my best friend and I got in a fight, and we have a 3 hour drive back home together. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
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Top comments
_kyleG_ 34
I mean at least you're going somewhere ni... Yeah, uh, sorry OP.
ModernZelda 19
Might want to invest in some nice noise-cancelling headphones for the next road trip.
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Comments (48)
ana_lee_bonde 17
The Dicks-ie Chicks Radio?
ReverseCarb 15
Being a resident of Michigan all my life and knowing the radio stations, I believe that it was Dave and Chuck the freak, they have #1 morning show in Michigan.
Jenmic 16
Besides the Chick with Dicks, sounds like a typical road trip with my Dad.
lulinator 40
That sounds like an awesome road trip! I'd be laughing constantly. But my sense of humour is a little twisted, and I'm usually more crude than most men.
Mysterious_one 26
seriously.. this sound like a great road trip.. u will miss all this if u lose him
LevyLove 17
Your dad sounds kind awesome
LevyLove 17
Kind of*
AmayaR 12
At least you didn't have to sit on the car for 16 hours on the way to Detroit with your constantly-peeing-unintentionally-racist grandparents
ODST_Panda 12
I would be laughing my ass off, I don't know how this was horrible.
zykrithium 22
Hopefully the friend didn't grope you when your dad fell asleep...
baxwar 15
I take it you're female because any guy would have loved the **** out of that shit