Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML
Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML
Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home, she thanked me over and over again, and then said, "Thank god you have no life!" FML
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML
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Top comments
johnthejolly 10
So by your logic you really are a son of a bitch
glimmer980 20
That sucks but at least you took them home instead of letting them drive home themselves putting many more people in danger. You're a good guy OP
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Comments (83)
qilinnaamossh 11
My bf has had to do drive his mom drunk multiple times and never once have I heard him disrespect her or call her names. Maybe you weren't raised with manners but you're old enough to know that you shouldn't call any women a "bitch" especially your mother.
Ichiya 29
Some women are bitches. There is no special category , e.g. woman or mother, that excludes you from being insulted.
GunSlinger69 19
Bitches is not a nice word to describe women, especially if they're not actually bitches..
Ahaddad123 27
Your a good person dude. But did you at least cop a feel on any of Em? Even if it is your mom...
xsydneyx123 28
You serious right now..?
xninix_fml 36
@56 I really hope he isn't.
yungmumma88 10
Thats no way to talk about the woman who brought you into this world
ShadowlessSpear 21
Unless said mom is actually a bitch.
vikky538 29
and what about the other bitch?
sstahpp 33
YDI for having a mother
AyOoDaLoBo33 10
Don't be calling your mother a bitch OP, even if she happened to be drunk, you should show her more respect!
djstiv3 15
woah.. your mother... wowee you son of a... *$^^#
hayleyblack2u71 21
If OP is seriously such a ******* jerk to consider his mom a bitch, then I think everyone can consider him a son of a bitch.
Ichiya 29
If you are such a ******* idiot to not realize that mothers can be bitches too.
hayleyblack2u71 21
#47 I think your forgetting it's HIS mom, and if drinking is such a bad thing for her that she has to be called a bitch, why didn't HE at least try to stop her?
Ichiya 29
Just because she pushed you out of her ****** doesn't automatically make her a nice person.
tigeran24 7
This shit gets approved but my stuff doesn't.