Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML
Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML
Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home, she thanked me over and over again, and then said, "Thank god you have no life!" FML
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML
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Top comments
johnthejolly 10
So by your logic you really are a son of a bitch
glimmer980 20
That sucks but at least you took them home instead of letting them drive home themselves putting many more people in danger. You're a good guy OP
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Comments (83)
anthonyksee 11
So what breed are you exactly?
cnygard95 12
Maybe you shouldn't call people bitches..
Dynosaur_dollie 38
You sound rather unpleasant. Your mum was taking safety into account by calling someone she counts on, and you're calling her a bitch? Unless your mum is an alcoholic that does this nightly I really don't see why you'd call her names like that. I couldn't imagine talking about my mum in such a way personally.
Ichiya 29
Maybe she is a bitch. You don't know her so don't judge.
manlytarts 28
Respect your elders, you son of a bitch you.
last_kings84 19
Would you rather let your mother drive home drunk?? And how dare you call your mom a bitch??
Harley326 7
Have you ever lived with an addict? Not saying she is one, but if she is, 'bitch' is beyond an understatement.
cnygard95 12
There's no reason to call her a bitch even if she is an addict.
Harley326 7
Have you ever been left at a movie theater in a city and state you've never been in at 13 with your 5 year old sister wile your mom goes to smoke? She'll be right back, only she doesn't come back. Have you ever been left for days at time while she goes out to get high? Have you ever had to explain to your siblings that mom's not feeling well and we have to calm down for a while? Have you ever had to watch as your mother lied to them over and over and they just ate it up, all just to be let down once again? Have you ever tried to go to an amusement park with 4 excited kids only to turn around 10 minutes in because your mother is nodding off while driving down the road? What exactly would your definition of bitch be?
sabbyheartswhat 23
#61 - As the younger sib in a similar (though not even to that extreme) situation. I say on behalf of all younger sibs, "Thank you!" I never knew why my dad was "sick" all the time because as the baby my older bro and sis shielded me from it all. We need that stronger older one to look out for us and I take it you did the right thing for your little sister. :) Nothing but love and understanding coming from me to you. Rock on!
FitFriday 32
It's not very nice to call your Mom a bitch. Unless she is an unreliable/responsible bitch who's not a good mom.
keyahkeyah 13
I hate when people use the term "bitches" as a word for women.
IWishIWasObama 12
some of them are though...
VampOfSavannah 31
I do too, #23. It's like people using "gay" to describe something that they think is lame.
x3sarax3 17
Been there.. Once I ran into my drunk mother at Waffle House. I only figured out it was her after we all laughed at the drunk woman stumbling out of the car and over the sidewalk. Drunk mothers are funny, yet so embarrassing.
Donna_Dashh 8
I definitely know the feeling.
Drake_The_Dragon 23
So your saying your a son of a bitch pretty much.