Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Cramped my style
Today, I reached a limit I wasn’t aware I had when I had to tell my husband we’re not having shower sex anymore because he’s gotten so big since he retired, we don’t both comfortably fit in there anymore. FML
Chubby Love, by Bon Iver
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Turn off
Today, after many comments over years about her needing to lose weight, I had to tell the woman I love, the woman I married, that she had gotten so overweight that the sight of her naked made me want to puke. Apparently her goal was to get so fat I'd stop asking for sex. I'm her third divorce. FML
My husband the shitgibbon
Today, three weeks after a traumatic emergency cesarean section, my husband keeps sulking because sex is the literal last thing I want right now. The fact that my body is still sore and healing is apparently irrelevant when he is horny. FML
Feelin' sexy
Today, my wife, who NEVER wants to have sex, decided that now is the time. I, of course, had to take antibiotics that make me so bloated I can’t move without extreme pain. FML
Unreasonable
Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML
Ouchie
Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML
Asshat
Today, after my body has been ravaged, scarred, broken, and mutilated by cancer, my husband says it’s only fair for him to have a side piece, since the treatments to save my life have decimated my sex drive. But don’t worry, it’s just for his physical needs. He won’t “fall in love or anything.” FML
Bad sex
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, I ended up in an awkward position during sex and dislocated my knee. My wife accused me of doing it on purpose to criticize her for being too fat and heavy for sex. FML
Top comments
ByronJess 17
You do realize that the "back one" is tighter than the front one is? Your logic fails.
Wiebeski19 5
Just tell him to not go so far deep, if his lung. If he's wide well than your ****** lol
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Comments (201)
ravey 0
Wow... I have no idea what to say to that
adogatemypetduck 4
Have a baby...nothing stretches your ****** out like a baby's big fat head.
fredricodasna 1
Go anal
easterwood702 0
I'll **** you c;
Pinolito13 0
To everyone saying If you can have a baby you can handle a large penis is ridiculous. As we know your body changes and preps from inside when having a baby so a penis which is coming from outside in is very diff. During foreplay try putting it in before he's fully hard, lots of lube and start slow
winfieldALJD 6
"If you can have a baby then you can handle a penis".....Um yes since babies come out just so easily.
Pendragon525 0
Kegel exercises & gentle massage. Look it up, it's found on many pregnancy sites as a way to avoid episiotomy. Works for the way-too-big problem, too. Trust me.
StephenLovesYou 3
You learn so much shit by just reading the comments lmao
2Siccckkkkkey 2
Take it up your backdoor
sportsmania445 7
How could you be to big
GamerGirl93 6
Maybe you should buy a vibrator that'll work for you.