kinky
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Nik
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States 🌶️ Spicy
You wanker!
Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
Anonymous
Get some rest
Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML
unlucky
Tallahassee, United States
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML
metalmeow
Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML
kylie
Unimpressed
Today, my doctor told me that I have severely and permanently injured my shoulder. Last week, I attempted to lift more weight than I normally do in an effort to impress my boyfriend. He was not impressed. In fact he said that most kids can lift more than that. FML
Anonymous
College Place, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML
one_BAMF
Canada
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Overdoing it a bit
Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Painful romance
Today, while my spouse and I were 'doing the do' we went to change positions… but instead we changed the location of their shoulder joint. Fully dislocated. FML
too eager
Hurstville, Australia
Ready for anything
Today, I had a date with an amazing girl so in the shower I wanted to make sure I was extra clean. With the soaped up shower puff in hand I tried to get as much of my back as I could which led to me pushing too far and dislocating my shoulder. FML
Top comments
turtlemansam 6
Can't you just make up an excuse ?
allmidnighteyes 11
How the **** do you ********** intensely enough to dislocate your shoulder?
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Comments (265)
allmidnighteyes 11
How the **** do you ********** intensely enough to dislocate your shoulder?
jramos0070 0
I know right haha that's just weird
Se0ul_Fr3sh 0
Lmfao...xD thats what i'm wondering! o.0
Se0ul_Fr3sh 0
Lmfao...xD thats what i'm wondering! o.0
boredinnapoleon 0
YDI... ...but that is almost impressive...
kaijapapaya 0
Some how I'm impressed too, although weirded out at the same time...
Jdotty 0
busted more than a nut eh? lmao
Anaxes 5
I thought that I had seen the full depth of human stupidity, it appears you have out... "played" them. You deserved your...PUNishment.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
*facepalm*
Anaxes 5
Sad.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
that was NOT a pun. Looks like your attempt at a masturbation pun... *puts on sunglasses* ...needs to be tossed. YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
Anaxes 5
How does it not work? Masturbation is sometimes referred to as playing with yourself, where I have used the term out "played". It's saddening when one must explain everything.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
IF you had managed to work the entire phrase "playing with oneself" or some variation thereof into a sentence where a different meaning of that phrase could also be drawn, THAT would be a pun. Shortening it to "played"? NOT a pun on masturbation, and in this particular case, not even a pun. It's really sad when someone thinks they're being clever, but he's really full of shit.
Anaxes 5
Ah, but your attempt only uses the word tossed where the phrase is actually tossed off. It's sad when one cannot notice hypocrisy and has a rage at others.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
If you're right, then that's what I get for trying to use a British slang phrase. Oops.
EPICrypto 0
Its funny because he had to tell his doctor and parents he dislocated is shoulder while masturbating.
sycoe135 0
What!?
Elfyy 0
Uhm... Do you have short arms or something?
Freeze_fml 17
Gender not disclosed. Hmm.
Anaxes 5
The OP could have easily not noticed the gender pop-down box.
sourgirl101 29
It would be so much funnier if it was a female. Okay a cramp I can understand but a dislocated shoulder? What the hell could make you pull that hard?
bradybond 0
how shit! how the hell did you manage to do that?
Southeastforev 0
how the **** do u manage to dislocate ur shoulder while jerking off ?! iv never heard of something like that. u just gave me the laugh of my day xD lmao .