Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years, called me and demanded to know where his Father's Day gift was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML
Today, it's Fathers Day. Both of my adult daughters called me… from their stepfather's house. FML
Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML
Today, my dad found the Father's Day present that I spent at least ten hours preparing and decorating. I'd expected him to be extremely happy about this lovely gift. His only reaction was to ask if he could exchange it for something else. FML
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML
Today, my family keeps pestering me about whether I've contacted my father yet. My father, the one who treated me and my family like crap throughout my upbringing and cheated on my mom a few years ago. I don't know why they think I'd ever want to see him again. FML
Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML
Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML
Today, I was involved in an intense argument with my dad. Just as I yelled, "You haven't done one thing for me", my phone rang. The same phone that, as of today, my dad no longer pays the bill for. FML
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Top comments
omgjustno 7
Say it's in the same place as all your lost birthday and holiday presents from him
FALLENSEBZERO 16
Tell him its up his ass if he wants to be so rude.
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Comments (60)
ForeverFat 12
First! Hahaha
FALLENSEBZERO 16
Tell him its up his ass if he wants to be so rude.
Kc1001 14
"it's up your ass. go look for it."
rapunzel3416 28
Hey this is my FML reworded and resubmitted! I was robbed
nsempsrott 2
I would phrase it "With your head. Up your ass."
cuppycakeslove 20
Demand where he was all those years you two didn't speak.
omgjustno 7
Say it's in the same place as all your lost birthday and holiday presents from him
pandalover69 26
Damn you took the words right out of my mouth
Zebediabolical 45
It must have been while I as kissing you.
Zebediabolical 45
*was
Kittem 10
Tell him it's in the last place he took you out to dinner/had special bonding time with you. THAT might have him straining his mind for a while.
Harshdfml 14
Ask him to choose : a kick in the balls or a punch in the gut?
duhhspammerx3 16
Say that he's got the wrong number?
scottyspot 11
Tell him you had one from a long time ago, but you misplaced it due to not seeing him in so long.
XxWolfyGirlXx 16
I feel ya there. Just had something similar happen
Kitten_Lover 8
Ask him where your presents are. I bet he'll hang up and never call you again. Problem solved! :)