Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
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Top comments
genesisnirvana 11
your parents are a win.
Andrewlostnow 3
your lucky all my mom and dad do is purr and meow
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Comments (148)
MyKeyy 0
#SWAG
Garyy_fml 11
why would you use a hashtag on FML?
blackvyper 8
You better hope that kind of fun is genetic.
Tess_fml 7
Sounds like a fun time to me! and LOL @ 3
YurLyfeSucks 0
Just watch, a video of this will be the next viral vid on YouTube.
warsha 0
Dammit... you had to bark back at them! that would back them off!!
sirdolittle 0
You live in Hawaii, your life can't suck ! *jealous*
808Boyo 4
haha Hawaii is the shit...lived here my whole life and still growin in the 808 State!
teresa96706 29
lol I thought I was one of the only people that live in Hawaii (other than my friends) that read FML.
lovepebbles 1
thats totally something i would do ...
Person1233 13
Get drunk or just the barking part? Because I don't think 12 year olds should drink. Hell, most adults can't handle alcohol.
chelseaaababyyy 17
god, i hope she doesnt mean drink. kids start that shit way too early. save it for college.
NomadicFlo 4
......and then you say your grandma only has one dog....
rattusrattus 19
Look, look, you're missing the whole point. Now you have... BLACKMAIL MATERIAL!!!
DocBastard 40
They sound like party animals.
smurfsarwales 9
ur first comment that has under a million likes... you're losing your touch doc.
MsSoulReaper 27
Not everyone can be on top for long. I say it's hard to come up with awesome comments that everyone will love.