Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my kids decided to draw on the walls with permanent marker, and now my house looks like a modern art exhibit. FML
Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML
Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML
Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML
Today, on the first day of my nanny job, I wanted to impress my employers with how trustworthy and responsible I am. During the sixty seconds that I went to pee, the two-year-old found a black Sharpie and scribbled all over the wall. Nail polish remover made it ten times worse. FML
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML
Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML
Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
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Top comments
drano 0
couldn't you just make more wet marks over them after you finished drawing your penises?
Crimson_regret 0
smoooth move. phalic drawings never end well, I've learned that from this website.
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Comments (126)
ericavel 0
Nicely worded :)
dyingstart 0
You should have drawn boobs.
Instantfilm 2
if u were washing the wall wouldn't the whole wall be wet and if it was u couldn't see the penises therefor I call fake
realrealitysuccs 0
obviously he didnt wash the whole wall he drew penises OP wat are u like 3? no thats an insult my son is 3 n he isnt drawin penises evrywher YDI
_krystallynn_ 11
your son can probably spell better than you.
mister_moops 0
what is with people on this website and drawing dicks?
Thepharaoh 0
ya you could of just went over them
bambii101 0
Whay does YDI mean?
lil_miz_liz09 0
you deserve it.
redbluegreen 41
Why hasn't anyone drawn a ****** and gotten into trouble? Just curious. It's always penises. I would love to read an FML where someone did what the daughter did in 'When Dad Killed Mom'.
Loser390 0
vaginas are harder to draw
TOMTHEMITCH 0
ya plus ud get side track and find something better to do
REDCRAYON 0
hahaha
MadeOfAwesome 1
I shall never understand the humour in penis art... My friend used to draw them on the back of my math worksheets and I never knew >.< my teacher probably thought that precalc made me horny or something
Lonely4 0
Hahahaha! My friend used to do that to my physics papers! Worse yet, I went to an all girls school, and the physics teacher was the only male employed there....I hdn't even had my firt kiss, and the teacher probably had a secret parent conference to say it's probably best I not be in a co-ed school LOL
uneekfreak16 0
My questions is... you counted them?
ohjessica 11
Well, he drew them.