Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
Today, I wrote my phone number on a Post-it note and gave it to a cute girl at work. She immediately threw it away. In front of me. FML
Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML
Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML
Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML
Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML
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Top comments
tzemmy 25
so you kept the candy bar at work, and somehow didn't see or remember the word penis on it before giving it to your crush?
Standupmast3r 18
You just gave your crush your penis. You should be happy.
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Comments (46)
tzemmy 25
so you kept the candy bar at work, and somehow didn't see or remember the word penis on it before giving it to your crush?
derp_taco 22
PENIS
MrSassypants 34
The game where you see who can say "penis" the loudest doesn't work when you type it.
FluffyPandas156 13
PENIS!!!!! Does that work?
SystemofaBlink41 27
When it's written, it seems the person with the most exclamation points wins.
Standupmast3r 18
You just gave your crush your penis. You should be happy.
Mr_Saikaly 35
He should draw a penis on a paper and stick it on his friend's back without him noticing, payback time :D
vikky538 29
at least the candy is not in penis shape...
R2Y2 22
Never said that she gave it back!
Kielnmsoftly 26
What if she ate it? ?
TiiBags 15
Well, you can use that word in response to what just happened. "Oh, penis." The irony is strong...
WoldowJR 25
In what world is "oh, penis" something people say?
yuzuhere 21
It's obviously what the cool kids say nowadays.
TiiBags 15
Well here in South Africa it's something I, and quite a few other people say
connorgrant98 24
Did your friend just decide to write penis on a candy bar or did he know you would give it to your crush?
quickit 24
Why would your friend even do that? Getting with her is going to be a lot harder now.
chadermcchaf 16
Probably as a practical joke, lots of people play pranks on each other. I feel as if OP should've seen that the word penis was written there though...
stingray112 24
Well sometimes you've done all you can do my friend
devildog562 33
Penis candy is an awesome thing to give s crush. Hopefully you can just try and talk to her later.
keiNan_fml 35
explain her about it. she will understand.
Mr_Saikaly 35
if my friend wrote such thing on a candy, there is no chance I would keep it long enough in order to forget such thing!