Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my kids decided to draw on the walls with permanent marker, and now my house looks like a modern art exhibit. FML
Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML
Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML
Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML
Today, on the first day of my nanny job, I wanted to impress my employers with how trustworthy and responsible I am. During the sixty seconds that I went to pee, the two-year-old found a black Sharpie and scribbled all over the wall. Nail polish remover made it ten times worse. FML
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML
Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML
Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
drano 0
couldn't you just make more wet marks over them after you finished drawing your penises?
Crimson_regret 0
smoooth move. phalic drawings never end well, I've learned that from this website.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (126)
christopherlove 0
You are super bad.
lexiBRo 0
lol.. when I read this I immediately thought about SUPERBAD!!!
4dakill 0
Well i hope they were well constructed penises at least with a huge GIRTH
philosopher 0
Never understood drawing phallic images... Every guy who draws penises is a closet **** or at least a closet bi. At least draw boobs or vaginas, my fellow men.
killjoy_fml 0
Sorry, but seriously...if you're bored enough to draw penises on a wall that you're washing, you need to get a life. Or at least take a art class so you can draw something a little more original. But also, why not use common sense and wash over them quickly again? It'd take what 2 minutes maximum?
kewl92 0
hahaha :D aww you poor thing
UrRightFML 0
all 10... HHA LOL WTF WHERE U THINKIN?
Cdldriver 0
You are so retard.
giraffeluva922 0
hahahahaha. I'm sorry. I can't stop laughing about this. It's 4 in the morning, all my friends are asleep, and I just woke them all up because I could not contain my laughter. The picture is burned into my head. Thank you for making my day
10Gauge 0
hahaha. you fail at life.
jollyjam1 2
What are you like 12?