Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML
Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML
Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to my house for the first time. Today was also the day my body decided to throw up violently for four hours while he awkwardly sat beside me, waiting for his ride home. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
LizabethLashay 0
that's nice if you, but screw that. he'd be cleaning that up.
therevolution 0
ur a sweet gf for doing that:) but that still sucks sorry op
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (140)
l_s_1_boy 0
definately fyl op! I never cut myself any slack when I get a hangover, after all I brought it on myself.....again /doh!
CykoX 0
eat something that gives u the squirts and let it go all in the bed. tell him you're not feeling well and ask him to clean it up. If he does, then he's a keeper.
this_one 2
Instead of cleaning up the puke, you could always dump his lazy ass.
corme_fml 0
That's like dumping someone for having a headache or being on their period. Classy.
radmuffin 12
78-Not even the same thing. He brought the hangover on himself. His decision, his responsibility,
was744 0
your a women. do it
corme_fml 0
mine a woman?
Cinn_fml 23
That's not an adequate reason, was744.
geraidersgrl 2
yeah um he's a douche and you should dump him.. you shouldn't take that crap.
andyvillarreal5 0
well he is feeling sick. clean it for him so he'll clean for you next time:)
skyeyez9 25
If this is a habitual thing get rid of him. If he is otherwise a great guy except this one accident, maybe you could forgive him.
Stephinat0r 0
I agree with #84. If he's anything like my ex-boyfriend who expects you to bend over backwards for him and doesn't do anything in return, definitely get rid of the guy. :)
hassenpfeffermmm 0
If u really care about him cleaning it up is the best way to show it.
aenemadreamer 0
OP i would have rubbed his face in that shit. maybe, like the dog that he is, he wouldn't dare to mistreat you and make you his slave. unlike all these other posters who are saying "oh woe is him, if you love him clean it up." hell ******* no. he ditched you then couldn't even puke in the toilet. i have zero tolerance for drunks. my fiance has the decency to let me pull over so he can puke rather than puke in my car.... you keep cutting ppl slack...they keep doing stupid shit.
Cinn_fml 23
And how do you know this isn't the one and only time he's done it? If he was doing this every single day, or whatever, then yes, you have a point. But if it was a one-off then it's not such a big deal, especially if he'd do the same for the OP if the roles were reversed.