Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML
Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML
Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to my house for the first time. Today was also the day my body decided to throw up violently for four hours while he awkwardly sat beside me, waiting for his ride home. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
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Top comments
LizabethLashay 0
that's nice if you, but screw that. he'd be cleaning that up.
therevolution 0
ur a sweet gf for doing that:) but that still sucks sorry op
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Comments (140)
FYLDeep 26
You might be better off just rolling with it, and then letting him know that he owes you big next time.
mjolene 0
uhh yea, that's ur job as a chick is to clean up his puke after he parties. I do for my boyfriend.
Crotcho_fml 0
I'm so sorry you'll never be anything more in life than a douche-bag's wife. well, what are you still reading this for?? don't you have some of your husbands chores to do??
radmuffin 12
Maybe that's YOUR job. Most girls don't let themselves be treated like doormats by men. Women are not here to serve men. If that's how you think, then you've got a shitty life ahead of you. OP's bf is a grown ass man. He should clean up after himself.
Kondustra 8
27 enlighten me: are you by any chance trolling? because i refuse to believe that ANY WOMAN still adheres to that stereotype. if youre serious please kill yourself now so you dont have a chance to infect your kids with your stupidity.
kykupkake21 3
You're an idiot.
sweetdreams999 0
you're an idiot for staying with him. anyone who has an idiot boyfriend or girlfriend, and then complains about it should be shot. morons.
LilAfo 4
U have beautiful hair :)
marcuspach 0
marry me lilAfo, your goregous!!!! I'll make you a sammich whenever your tummy talks :)
LilAfo 4
*blushin* whyy fank u
LilAfo 4
u made me smile mr sammich :)
marcuspach 0
clean up the mess and make him a sammich dammit!!! stop complaining!!!! make sure it's a grilled cheese with ham!!! hmmmmmmmm, corrrection make two; I'm getting kinda hungry now :P
Crotcho_fml 0
OP: I'm so tired of stupid girls like you staying around for a douche when you could be treated like a queen by someone as great as myself who truly knows how to treat a lady. YDI
detolicious 2
smooth!
Crotcho_fml 0
hey... I don't want dumb bitches like that who can obviously do better, but don't even see it.
detolicious 2
well, totally agree with you. complaining won't solve it but if she can't/does not want to see it - her loss.
sexybitch92 0
your boyfriend is so ****** up.. why would he ditch his girl and go to a party.. then throw up on the bed what an ass op train your man!!
Crotcho_fml 0
OP's boyfriend shouldve been taking her out on the town, buying her wine, and getting her a little saucy. instead, I guess he really doesn't like sex much.
cytoloopy 1
dump the ******. after college it's called alcoholism.
rosierosierosie 0
i'd clean it up...with his face.
jvandy 0
stop complaining OP. fix me a sammich then clean up that shit
natural711 6
simple...I may be your bitch for sex but Im not your bitch for cleaning up afterrrr u, I didn't give birth to u, I'm not your momma son. now I don't care whether ur hungover, u made aess and ubbetter clean up this shit before I start makin some noise.(don't make me bring metal pans up in here...or else).
jvandy 0
you scare me :/
jvandy 0
hehe sshhhh... ;)