Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Keep your distance
Today, I travelled by myself for the first time. I was seated next to a middle-aged man who was trying to convince me that I was his soulmate, kept touching my face and sniffing me. I'm 19 and it was a 6 hour flight. FML
The Curse
Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Ticket to ride
Today, a pretty girl joined the line at the bus station. I let her skip the line and go before me so I could sit next to her. After she bought her ticket, I realized there were no more seats left on that bus. I was told to get off, and had to take the next bus, sitting next to a snoring old man. FML
Pervy
Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me. When I got off, he smiled and told me as the doors were closing, "The last twelve times was for fun." FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
Unflattered
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
Top comments
jts2 3
Should've reported him to someone or something. (I have no idea how things like this would be handled, I don't fly.) But yeah, that sucks. :/
fxdxhk90 0
Did he repeat the phrase "me scuzzy, me scuzi" over again? Seriously though, it would have been appropriate to sock him in the skull, people that do things like this are just asking for an ass kicking, you should have provided it.
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Comments (106)
bartmasta 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
first
fmlfmlfml15 0
OP, just because nobody else said anything, that didn't mean you shouldn't. Why would you put up with that for 4 hours straight?
Mirequetz 6
I'm still wondering why the train would be so packed at 4:00 am.
fmlfmlfml15 0
he didn't say...OHHHH i see it now lol. and yes that does sounds strange. hmmm..............
arsenalfcboy 6
It's a coach, not a train.
rowanator 0
Good point. Coaches can easily be crowded, too. It was probably full of blue-collar workers.
Achall91 17
I hate when people put "first" yes we all have eyes and we can probably all read if we're on this site.
jts2 3
Should've reported him to someone or something. (I have no idea how things like this would be handled, I don't fly.) But yeah, that sucks. :/
monnanon 14
um a coach is a bus not an aeroplane she didnt fly either :) but yeah i agree with you she really should have reported it. Not much you can do on a bus when no one is taking any notice of something like that tho :S
plexico 4
Sister screwtaylor speaks the truth! You make this old dog tear up a little.
the_stereotype 0
the "ho, ho, ho, come sit on my lap" certainly explains it all. Santa or not...i would have given that man a bloody nose
screwtaylor 0
Yeah, I just compared him to Santa Claus in #5. Also when I was younger I used to go to the mall on christmas and the Santa Claus would give everybody a kiss on the cheek.
KingsofOmega 0
Ok guys, just too clear this up. A coach is not a train or a plane, nor is it a regular type of bus, it is a large bus that you can hire to take large groups of people places. It doesn't stop at bus stops. A regular bus goes along one route stopping to pick up passengers, capeesh?
pgray18 0
can u not read? what are u on about.. there was no bus involved
FozzieGirl 0
Or a coach can be a long distance bus that stops occasionally, like in city centres, a bit like a train but, you know, also a bit like a bus
maddog_fml 0
#84 is right. A coach is a bus, almost like your Greyhound busses.
Fredzter 0
I feel sorry for you, some people... O.o
lizzzie_fml 0
We may be a small place but we can still fly from one place to another.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
And I was totally expecting to read "redneck land" in your origins in your profile. Go stereotype your own country, not mine.
jts2 3
Haha. Mean, but true. And like I said, eman, I'm sorry about that. I didn't read over everything; Lack of sleep the previous night kind of screws you up.
mastory96 0
kick him in the balls. solves all MY problems.
DeathShad0 1
Wow. People are somewhat stupid nowadays. As everyone else said, Coach is a bus...
iDinosaur 0
wow, ****** up..
youlose_ 0
reminds me of the eurotrip train scene lol
satanstoystore 0
try and trade seats! der.