Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple of weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends plastic wrapped me to my bed while I was sleeping, I had an allergic reaction to the plastic and had to have the girl I like come cut me out and give me my meds. I sleep naked and was unable to put on clothes during this time. She saw me naked, swollen and with hives. FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe facial rashes. My boyfriend and I then found out I'm allergic to seminal fluid. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a very unpleasant doctor's appointment. I got out of the shower and used a new body spray all over my torso and arms. Turns out I'm allergic to it and now my skin is on fire, so now I get to go to an already uncomfortable appointment even more uncomfortable than I'd planned. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
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Top comments
neujersey 0
Yeah, you didn't have to explain that to her. The insurance explanation of benefits document won't be that descriptive...
Novaeangliae 0
Quite possibly the only thing funnier than this post was that conversation with your mother
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Comments (28)
laxgirl3 0
yeah it says CLEARLY that the OP is a girl
ZleveL 0
seriously, you couldn't come up with a better name than "Canadian"? ****** every Canadian on xbox live that I see has "canada" in their gt. "Canadian-sniperxxx" or "CaNaDiAnX XPwNeD" etc. it pisses me of soo damn much. you guys are just so full of your selves. **** >:^|
CuttingTheHam 0
Stupid FML. Didn't make any sense
somename1223132 5
I'm canadian u ignorant American
toyota4life94 6
I'd muck rather be a proud American than a cocksucking canadian. .
juliegirl96 0
doesnt make sense..
ibphizznout 0
FYI : lube does consist of few ingredients with the allergen most likely caused from the preservatives to increase the shelf-life of the product. a very common allergy.
stevenJB 25
Honey badger ain't scared of no lube!!
jcp012000 5
If she gets mad tell her to shove it up your ass.... I mean her ass!
lheat 0
Why did they say something about the insurance then?