Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple of weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends plastic wrapped me to my bed while I was sleeping, I had an allergic reaction to the plastic and had to have the girl I like come cut me out and give me my meds. I sleep naked and was unable to put on clothes during this time. She saw me naked, swollen and with hives. FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe facial rashes. My boyfriend and I then found out I'm allergic to seminal fluid. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a very unpleasant doctor's appointment. I got out of the shower and used a new body spray all over my torso and arms. Turns out I'm allergic to it and now my skin is on fire, so now I get to go to an already uncomfortable appointment even more uncomfortable than I'd planned. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
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Top comments
neujersey 0
Yeah, you didn't have to explain that to her. The insurance explanation of benefits document won't be that descriptive...
Novaeangliae 0
Quite possibly the only thing funnier than this post was that conversation with your mother
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Comments (28)
chimichangaballs 7
Coconut oil is the best lube in the world. It's antiviral, antifungul, & no one's allergic to it. Plus it tastes good & makes your skin soft. Just don't use it with condoms!
rocker_chick23 27
My friend is allergic to coconut oil. I suggest you don't spread false rumors that no one is allergic to coconut oil.
chimichangaballs 7
Coconut oil is the best lube in the world. It's natural, antiviral, antifungal, & no one is allergic to it. Plus it tastes good & makes your skin oh so soft! Only problem is you can't use it with condoms
coolkod1005 2
This is dumb
anyav3 13
That's rough :/ lol
Hildy93 21
This FML was posted in '09.... Happy 6th birthday!