Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML
Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, upon getting the paperwork for my Court Diversion, I found out I had to write an apology letter to my brother. The brother who sent me to jail for trying to get him to stop abusing his girlfriend, and holding him instead of fighting when he charged at me. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Today, I had to bail my husband out from jail for almost killing someone. What happened? He and my sister-in-law were in an grocery store when she spotted his old high school nemesis, who back then was the biggest bully in school. She thought that it would be "exciting" to see what would happen if their paths crossed again. FML
Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML
Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML
Today, my 19-year-old brother broke into my dorm and robbed me. When I tried to file a report, my brother went to my parents and told them that he took it because I owed him money on a bet. Guess who lost $92.50. FML
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Top comments
capslockisgood 19
Owl bet he feels pretty dumb now!
That_Ginger 18
Your location verifies my suspicion that your brother fought Ron Weasely. What a lucky guy.
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Comments (105)
TheHeavyOne 15
I hope booze was involved.
carabobara 7
on the plus side, now you have a good story for Easter, "guess hoo got arrested...yup owls again"
mbuck87 19
And HE'S the one who was put in jail?! If you don't like owls you deserve to get hit!
SnowyFox 6
Well I mean, owls ARE pretty awesome.
baref00tmama 15
YOLO=You Obviously Like Owls!
chickenman12312 12
Hoo would do such a thing?
Daiseyrayne 6
Well you cant just not like owls!!!!!!!
Klairem11 11
Owl bet he wishes he never got into that fight
Alastor13X 8
Is your brother ******* Buckle from American Dad or something? Wow...
reinsg 6
That's a hoot!