Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML
Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML
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Top comments
BroSkii69 8
You mean your dad talking to you about his balls isn't normal?
opendoorclosed 8
Always carry an ipod or some sort of emergency mp3 playing device + some headphones with you. When something like this happens again, put on your Aperture Science Emergency MP3 Device as loud as you can, drifting away in the music, far, far away from the awkward conversation.
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Comments (72)
mwjessica 0
This is where it would be helpful to know the age and gender of the FMLer. That would really help to gauge the level of "ewwness."
PSQ91 6
Reminds me of that Southpark episode with Randy hopping on his huge balls xD
CitrusGirl 0
I think a more interesting story would be how he scarred his testicles.
phatdaddy62 23
mom bites
Feklfekl2222 32
there was a longer version I moderated it's because his stretched because he didn't wear underwear
mexicotoucher 7
As long as he didn't demonstrate that no semen comes out...
J9DeeZy 4
haha, literally laughed out loud.
planetsmurf 6
you should have countered with your last sexual exploit and see how fast he stopped talking to you
JennaMarie420 2
that's hot?
Miranday 0
Misfortune...eh? It was planed.
jennifer93 0
wow, lucky you!
captainbj2 0
wow.... just wow. damage done.
phatdaddy62 23
Family bonding time!