Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML
Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
Today, a woman came knocking on my door. Not to sell something or to chat, no. To punch me in the mouth. Apparently, I stole her husband and I'm a homewrecker. We don't have a clue who she is. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, and were high school sweethearts. FML
Today, a guy I went out with twice, and slept with once, came knocking on my door, hysterically crying. Apparently his wife found out about “us” and kicked him out. He’s now asking where he can put his stuff, since he’s now homeless. I had no idea he was married, and she’s now looking to fight me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my wife woke me up by punching me in the balls. Apparently, while I was napping on the sofa, she came in and decided to lie with her head in my lap. While she was scrolling TikTok I sleep-farted on her head, so she punched me. I was asleep, so I feel like the victim here, I call bullshit! FML
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Top comments
toowie_fml 20
Bitches be crazy..
kidepicfest 0
Well since you've already been beat up, might as well find the husband and sleep with him.
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Comments (106)
xxXJSIZZLEXxx 1
That's just gives her a reasons to beat a girl
smokebluntzz420 1
shoulda fought back. she started it.. self defense man
captainburke 5
She was just a hating bitch
Calyx_fml 22
Press charges. Everyone should press charges when they are attacked.
tne201992 12
Lawsuit? I think so!!
fatalwish 6
i guess you will start carrying a can of pepper spray now? totaly worth it to spray a bitch
deemoe 5
Sorry to hear u got beat on. Hope u feel better. And ppl op mean (out of pocket) not a name
redhedsaysrawr 18
Get off the internet... OP Means Original Poster, as in the person who posted this... Out Of Pocket would be OOP anyways... Just... just go...
KiddNYC1O 22
*points to nearest EXIT*
daboyluis 2
Lmfaoooo wow that's something crazy !
rayahbug 3
Press charges.
erinchick1 7
You should've defended yourself and then pressed charges for assault! Then while she's sitting in jail go find her husband and let him pop your cherry! At least get some type of satisfaction for the beat down you endured from that crazy bitch who apparently attacks random strangers!