Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML
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Top comments
nuhuh 1
Definitely. Because wearing condoms during phone sex prevents hearing aids.
tinytimmy2 2
that kid is scared for life
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Comments (271)
gamerhead 3
did you get hearing AIDS?!? lol
xXshadowrollerXx 6
I see what you did there, but please, don't ever do it again.
chloe2114 4
wow, I think this is probably the STUPIDEST pun ever...
BrandonisRomeo 18
hey I wear hearing aids that's an insult
Garytt 0
LOL at 19s pic
justinhi 0
win
leeshxx 3
I don't see any of you ******* with anything funny to say.
SoccerRebel594 0
Geez bitch, not everyone is here to troll.
leeshxx 3
180 u mad?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
What? I didn't catch that...
SoccerRebel594 0
I'm not a fan of your rude and ignorant comments 186, that is all. There are better ways to troll and have fun on FML.
bjohnst12 0
241 stfu u think ur cool? u have black and white pic so you can avoid showing ur ugly acne face so stfu?
DudeImBetter 0
You really couldn't pick a different room, wow.
damnalltheasshol 0
Now this is an epic fail.
htb2050 11
lol. when ever I do the stuff with the hand I always lock the room and completely make sure that their aren't any holes and cameras to spy on me. you need more common sense.
A7X_LoVeee 10
It's pretty sad that you have to check your room for hidden cameras.
FallonFerSure 6
"The stuff with the hand" LMFAO
IsH3092 0
haha win!
prince122 0
yea I get paranoid too :P. I once triple checked the bathroom and and closets caus I kept thinking there was someone spying on me. but after you finish with the hand u realize it was stupid to check.
lionandthelamb61 9
Haha, you're a baaaaddd Islamabadian...I had to do it.
bribearr 6
yea. but you just put this in te Internet. common sence.
bjohnst12 0
Ohhh yeahhhhh baby yessss that's right rigt here.... hey mom
T3P33_fml 0
reminds me of Ethan Chase from Due Date.
doom2 8
well that's awkward.
YouReallyDeserve_fml 0
Awwwkkwaard....,.
coldspider3 6
owned
Erindub 0
Eww YDI!
Rio_de_Fevereiro 0
Why did she not stop you in the beginning?? She is the true sick person. /// O
musicchick1712 0
the mom enjoys live **** done by her child
liyahh23 0
wass thinkin the same thinggg hah.
liyahh23 0
wass thinkin the same thinggg hah.
refuse2lose 0
that's great... I didn't even think of that haha
cindayy77 0
nice xD
Dino1234 0
you are just so ugly
jess6blondie9 3
Says the person with no picture. Leave.
lovepinkandzombi 0
RUDE.