Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML
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Top comments
nuhuh 1
Definitely. Because wearing condoms during phone sex prevents hearing aids.
tinytimmy2 2
that kid is scared for life
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Comments (271)
LibraLove 0
WOOOOOOOW!!!!!!! now that is funny!!!!
xXshadowrollerXx 6
Your mom stopped you halfway through? Someone got blue balls, eh? :D And, I think it's F the baby's life, cause they had to endure that traumatic experience.
bthomas0319 2
Thumbs up this comment(:
HomeAl0ne 20
Awwww, baby's first threesome....
smhansen92 0
win^^
nicolangelo 5
a baby couldn't possibly know what was going on. period. ******* retards
FMLsOhilarious 6
Then you boners, must be too big.
s3xymoma 1
lol. well it the idiot for forgetting
_yarrrr 0
wait what....?
s3xymoma 1
he is the idiot for forgetting he has a baby monitor in his room.
_yarrrr 0
just admit it, what OP meant to write was that he was lonely and he attempted phone sex over the baby monitor with his mother...no wonder she was angry man... honestly I see no other reason for there to be a baby monitor....?
nicolangelo 5
wow.
smurfman44265034 0
dumbass