Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ordered enough takeout for 3 people. When the delivery guy smiled and asked, "Family dinner?" I panicked and said, "They're parking." Even though I know that the delivery guy doesn't really give a shit, I stood outside my apartment for 5 minutes pretending to wait for imaginary relatives before going back inside alone. FML
Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML
Today, I ordered a mountain of junk food for myself on Deliveroo. Embarrassed, I pretended there was other people in the house by yelling, "Food’s here, everyone!" to avoid judgment. The delivery guy smiled and said, "Come on, be honest mate, no one else is in there is there?" FML
Today, I ordered a pizza for delivery, and when it arrived, the box was completely empty except for a receipt and a piece of lettuce. I called the restaurant, and they insisted I must’ve eaten it all, and was just pretending. I took a picture of the empty box and the soggy piece of lettuce to prove them wrong. It didn't work. FML
Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML
Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
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Top comments
TheLoneWolf87 4
Fosters Home for Imaginary Duechebags! It'll be a smashing success!
drunkenpoop 0
why would you care what the pizza guy thinks about you? odds are, you'll never see him again. i dont see an FML here ..
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Comments (53)
monkji10 0
YDI for caring About what the pizza guy thinks
NavySEAL13 0
Your a jelly belly sh!tty titty fat fück JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK JK
JediScum 1
I agree, she sounds like she has questionable judgment in who she's attracted to, but the fml wasn't really about how she'd blown her chance with him, but more that she'd been really embarrassed in front of someone she felt was attractive. Who amongst us enjoys that! I know I don't! If she'd been a secure human being however she probably wouldn't have been so embarrassed over such a stupid matter. But funny looking people are queer like that sometimes, you never know what will get their panties in a knot!
JediScum 1
This was intended to be under 31! My imaginary friends must have moved it! They will do it. Embarrass you everytime ;) oh and I thumbed myself down on my comment just to give myself a head start! Haha
newburton13 26
Should've taken the pizza and driven home.
writerchic85 26
Trust me. The cute delivery guy doesn't give a crap.