Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ordered enough takeout for 3 people. When the delivery guy smiled and asked, "Family dinner?" I panicked and said, "They're parking." Even though I know that the delivery guy doesn't really give a shit, I stood outside my apartment for 5 minutes pretending to wait for imaginary relatives before going back inside alone. FML
Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML
Today, I ordered a mountain of junk food for myself on Deliveroo. Embarrassed, I pretended there was other people in the house by yelling, "Food’s here, everyone!" to avoid judgment. The delivery guy smiled and said, "Come on, be honest mate, no one else is in there is there?" FML
Today, I ordered a pizza for delivery, and when it arrived, the box was completely empty except for a receipt and a piece of lettuce. I called the restaurant, and they insisted I must’ve eaten it all, and was just pretending. I took a picture of the empty box and the soggy piece of lettuce to prove them wrong. It didn't work. FML
Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML
Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
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Top comments
TheLoneWolf87 4
Fosters Home for Imaginary Duechebags! It'll be a smashing success!
drunkenpoop 0
why would you care what the pizza guy thinks about you? odds are, you'll never see him again. i dont see an FML here ..
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Comments (53)
Ninjaface 0
Wow, your imaginary friends are real jerks. Not only do they demand real food, but they won't even help you carry it! Sounds like they need am imaginary butt-whooping.
amatayo 0
Two things: If you're pretty he would not care. and if you are you have no chance so relax. hakuna matata
Mortanious 0
YDI for assuming to know what the guy was thinking.
Emperor_Jim 0
What do you care what the delivery guy thinks, even if he is "cute"? Do you see him often? Would you ever have had the balls to ask him out? Would you even want to date a guy who delivers pizza for a living? These are questions you should be asking yourself, not what some random "cute" guy thinks of you. YDI.
polico_wolf 0
oh boo hoo they pretended they weren't there. #31 is right, did you think on first time meeting him he would ask for your number or something?
xenomorph 0
They're not friends . . .
viper1000 0
.
Lisa89 3
whenever i get pizza delivered i never get a cute delivery guy... i didn't think cute delivery guys existed.
pattheaninal 9
Is it really delivery? Or is it Delissio?
GreenRupee 0
I think he isn't THAT dumb. And anyways, that was a joke, nothing that would ruin your life or even a second of it.
Rand0mwill 0
Once I had a cover teacher in school, so me and my friends decided to swap names. My name came before his name on the register. When the teacher was reading the names it came to my name where my friend was supposed to answer for it. He didn't answer it. So I said to him,"answer it then". He didn't answer and everyone in the class looked at me like WTF?