Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ordered enough takeout for 3 people. When the delivery guy smiled and asked, "Family dinner?" I panicked and said, "They're parking." Even though I know that the delivery guy doesn't really give a shit, I stood outside my apartment for 5 minutes pretending to wait for imaginary relatives before going back inside alone. FML
Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML
Today, I ordered a mountain of junk food for myself on Deliveroo. Embarrassed, I pretended there was other people in the house by yelling, "Food’s here, everyone!" to avoid judgment. The delivery guy smiled and said, "Come on, be honest mate, no one else is in there is there?" FML
Today, I ordered a pizza for delivery, and when it arrived, the box was completely empty except for a receipt and a piece of lettuce. I called the restaurant, and they insisted I must’ve eaten it all, and was just pretending. I took a picture of the empty box and the soggy piece of lettuce to prove them wrong. It didn't work. FML
Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML
Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
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Top comments
TheLoneWolf87 4
Fosters Home for Imaginary Duechebags! It'll be a smashing success!
drunkenpoop 0
why would you care what the pizza guy thinks about you? odds are, you'll never see him again. i dont see an FML here ..
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Comments (53)
immabitch 0
ur friends r ass holes
Loveya448 0
How much pizza did you order? YDI for ordering too much pizza for only 6 friends.
jane99 0
This is funny.
michaelcarell 0
Does it happen to be your 18th birthday and does your name happen to be Cara Ethyl?
invisiblerabbit 0
"round for pizza"....? fix your spelling you *****!
Sage1314 4
What's wrong with that? You've never had anyone round for pizza..?
bobateme 0
no the problem is op is from uk.
lickerassholes 0
the uk is the best asshole
gpstyne 0
he doesn't think you're 'greedy' he thinks you're crazy and have Bumilia nervosa congrats
Mudley 0
She could be anorexic and masochistic. But yeah, greedy is the wrong word.
guitardedman 0
ydi for giving a shit about a delivery man's opinion of you. my guess is that he laughed, thought about the most recent set of **** he saw, got back in his car, and completely forgot about you as he finished his shift.
Mustardnight 3
Good joke by your friends. However, cute and delivery boy shouldn't be in the same sentence? No offence to delivery boys. Roastbeef and mustard.
cmac86 24
one he probably didn't notice, and two, wouldn't it be obvious to you and he that the lights went our?
FerrariCake 2
Why don't you do something to make up for it... convince him you give great ********.
iwannafuckyaman 0
well...fat chicks do give the best blow jobs...