Anonymous
United States
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
doodler
Hurst, United States
Subconscious
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
kaynotentirelywrong
Repentigny, Canada
Today, while discussing career prospects with my mom, she suggested that I become a penis puppeteer, because "Let's face it, you play with it 24/7. Why not make a career out of it?" Yeah, thanks. FML
b.fritz
Saint Louis, United States
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Dick move
Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital because he thought it would be funny to Superglue googly eyes to his dick. FML
xsnqw
San Francisco, United States
Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML
Mystery LeRale
United States
Today, I spent four hours practicing funny voices. I have literally nothing better to do all day. FML
Anonymous
France
Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML
AlexK
United Kingdom
Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML
atomwolf
Southampton, United Kingdom
Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
Top comments
TheGuyOverThere 0
Time you enjoy wasting cannot truly be called wasted ;-)
Malika_fml 0
how is that an FML?? I'll make a penis out of silly putty any time!!!!
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Comments (58)
NoNameAtAll_fml 1
I have the solution to your proplem. F-R-I-E-N-D-S. get them
dacho 7
So? You'd like better if you've had TONS of work and/or homework to do? Jesus Christ, I'd be HAPPY if I had NOTHING better to do than waste time.
LegndNikko 0
How did THIS get past the moderation??
ScaryyMary 14
How does one become FML staff?
allmidnighteyes 11
It's all about suckin' dick, and drinkin' Crunk.
WTFsGoingOn 0
Did you really say drinking crunk? Crunk is not a substance.
allmidnighteyes 11
Crunk Juice Because if Lil' Jon endorses it, you know that shit's legit
ScaryyMary 14
What is this "crunk" you speak of? It must be a black person thing.
kitkat101 0
this belongs on MLIA, not FML
lostfaithinpppl 19
Get off your fat ass and go do something. Dear moderators, Can you please be more selective in your choice of FML's next time? This one sucks eggs. *rolling my eyes*
Cristaderzi 0
Ummm Welcome to the real world lol
perdix 31
I was going to ask if she employed it as a *****. Generally, Silly Putty is too soft to mimic a normal penis, but maybe it's a good substitute for some of the loser limp-dick guys she hangs out with.
ScaryyMary 14
Well, I imagine if she froze it, not only would it solidify, she can imagine it's her ice-cold vampire lover from Twilight!
bean_dawg 0
I'll be your friend.
ameliecious 0
A noble endeavour, friend.
DameGreyWulf 1
Did you use it DID YOU USE IT
ridiXXXulous 0
I HAVE NO SHAME I do not blame I'm a champion of Penis Olympics. Twisting, Shaping, Crafting, Painting, ERECTION COMEDY! MOCK THE **** I stand out on the street block demonstrating the silly putty of the MALE ENDOWMENT I MUST CONFESS my penis leans to the left a result of circumcision or as I call it THE LEANING TOWER OF PENIS!
hellokimmiee 5
Uhh, are you proud?
Say_hi 0
I think..I love you.