Anonymous
United States
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
doodler
Hurst, United States
Subconscious
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
kaynotentirelywrong
Repentigny, Canada
Today, while discussing career prospects with my mom, she suggested that I become a penis puppeteer, because "Let's face it, you play with it 24/7. Why not make a career out of it?" Yeah, thanks. FML
b.fritz
Saint Louis, United States
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Dick move
Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital because he thought it would be funny to Superglue googly eyes to his dick. FML
xsnqw
San Francisco, United States
Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML
Mystery LeRale
United States
Today, I spent four hours practicing funny voices. I have literally nothing better to do all day. FML
Anonymous
France
Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML
AlexK
United Kingdom
Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML
atomwolf
Southampton, United Kingdom
Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
Top comments
TheGuyOverThere 0
Time you enjoy wasting cannot truly be called wasted ;-)
Malika_fml 0
how is that an FML?? I'll make a penis out of silly putty any time!!!!
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Comments (58)
Raiderwrstler65 0
gotta love those days
klic_fml 0
this belongs on MLIA.
klic_fml 0
this is a "my life is average" story
jw90 18
now all you to do is install it with a vibrator :O
Darling_Cherry 5
This is really pathetic. Especially when there are a lot of charitable organizations that could use your help. You should look into volunteering. Or invest some money in reading a book or newspaper.
aTRAGEDY 0
...... o noez I mad a play dough penis wat am I to do... try friends and y does crunk have to be specifically categorized as a black thing lmao I love this app
smackieonassis 0
FML has reached a new low. This is absolutely retarded. Go away, and come back when you have a real problem.
ic2drops 10
maybe you should do something about that