Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
Today, my friend made the effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML
Today, I had a major digestive emergency while at work. I rushed to the bathroom, just to realize there were no toilet paper rolls left. In a moment of desperation, I used the last few pages of my notebook to make do. Now I’m terrified of what’s going to happen if my boss ever asks for the reports I wrote in that notebook. FML
Today, after retyping a 22-page report for work because the orginal had gone missing, i realized I had used a different laptop the first time. I now have 2 copies of the same report, both of which are late. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML
Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important paper that I needed for work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML
Today, I turned in my homework. Too bad I accidentally handed in the printed answer sheet I found online to copy from. FML
Today, my friend and I doodled on a sheet of paper trashing our English teacher. Later, I went to English class, and my teacher asked for us to take out a sheet of loose sheet of paper and write an essay. It wasn't until I had written on the whole front and flipped to the back that I realized I was using the doodle sheet. FML
Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
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Top comments
SOILEDIT 51
You'd have to be so ******* bored/baked out of your mind to decide to find the volume of your penis.
Frabens 1
YDI for putting something like that on a piece of paper without checking the other side first, especially since you'd (probably) recently done a school report in your work space.
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Comments (76)
SOILEDIT 51
You'd have to be so ******* bored/baked out of your mind to decide to find the volume of your penis.
Aylla89 3
Or just insecure?
cacheson 42
I seriously thought at first that this was some sort of innuendo for jacking off, but #1 made me realize it wasn't :D
alaina1104 11
#15 because everyone knows the average penis is 25.4 cubic inches.
xx000o 27
Well they do go hand in hand with each other.
Kirtres 4
To be honest, I was neither drunk, high or horny when I suddenly decided to figure out the volume and weight of my breasts. Merely impulsive and curious. If I was a boy, I could see myself do this.
Frabens 1
YDI for putting something like that on a piece of paper without checking the other side first, especially since you'd (probably) recently done a school report in your work space.
kirasant 19
Definitely YDI. If you want to calculate the volume... well okay, but why would you be so excited to do so that you wouldn't look at the paper you were using first?
volvagia720 6
Leave it on there. Pity points are always welcome
tj4234 36
Could you not just photocopy the report?
satanistxxangel 8
They might not have a photocopier but that's a really good idea that I would never think of lol.
Keithds1999 8
Common Sense is mostly the answer
satanistxxangel 8
A really good eraser and white out are going to be your little friends to get rid of the math of your little friend.
RichardPencil 32
In England, they call it a rubber. That would certainly prevent the Wite-Out from leaking on the page.
tantanpanda 26
or just change the variables and whatnot, unless OP wrote something like "PENIS CIRCUMFERENCE = X" which can't be changed easily if OP writes hard. Nobody really cares about some erased math on the back of a report as long as it's somewhat erased.
Jackimo98 24
Unless he drew a diagram
Yudith_fml 11
Hopefully, the school will appreciate your dedication to math. If they complain, show them the video where Neil DeGrasse Tyson calculates how many men a male prostitute must f*** to buy... something, I don't remember what.
_Adog2645 24
What?
wakka9876 17
im gonna say YDI, only because it'll only matter if you titled your calculations 'dimensions and volume of my phalus'. if you didnt, how will they know what the calculations were for
CamBamShamDaMan 26
What they don't know won't hurt em.
Chazzster 32
You deserve this one! Where was your brain that day?
greeniegenius 20
A better way would have been water displacement- dipping it in a full container and measuring the water that overflowed... But you certainly got a LOL out of me. FYL indeed!
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
And I thought I would be the first one geeky enough to have thought of that. Or shameless enough to post it and risk people wondering if I was talking from experience.
RichardPencil 32
I thought of that, too, and how awkward it would be to **** a cup... I mean, a vase, a large vase of water. Would I had to cuddle it afterwards?
sturschaedel 27
That way you could also compare the volume in relation to the temperature of the water.
RichardPencil 32
There could be significant shrinkage
greeniegenius 20
You may have noticed I'm female- clever though ; )