Today, my new upstairs neighbors moved in. Within ten minutes of getting in the door they were screaming and arguing about everything, practically handing out death threats to each other. I then heard them having even louder makeup sex for about three hours afterwards. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
Today, after months of peace and quiet since January, a new family moved into the apartment below me ten minutes before I was about to go to sleep. They've been here for 30 minutes and already they're stomping and banging doors all over the place. FML
Today, I met my upstairs neighbours in person. They had been having vigorous sex and all of a sudden I heard a loud, “OH SHIT” and they both fell through the ceiling and ended up on top of me on my sofa, covered in plaster and dust, and stark naked. FML
Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML
Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML
Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors and their 4 kids all under the age of 6. I met them due to all the thudding coming from upstairs. FML
Today, I got a new upstairs neighbor, a fucking breeder with three brats and a screeching newborn. They’ve barely started moving in their shit and I can hear the howls already. It’s not fair to put them in upstairs apartments above people just trying to enjoy some peace and quiet. FML
Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML
Today, my new neighbours moved in. I had always thought my bedroom wall was soundproof, because my old neighbours never complained about my loud night terrors. Turns out they were just stone deaf. The new ones can hear everything. FML
Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML
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Top comments
coming back in the future 30
Maybe that was just their foreplay. They might be into rampaging murderers. You never know.
ScratchCatPower 32
Gah! Well, what a great first impression. Maybe you should consider investing in a pair of earplugs.
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Comments (51)
andrmac 25
Just call the cops during the next fight. They might just take it elsewhere in the future or realise they can't fight and then **** like that.
dada124 8
What about this scenario screams CALL THE COPS to you?
kingdomgirl94 29
Where I live we have 24 hour noise laws. If people are being loud as ****, you can get the cops to shut them the **** up.
WhatHappenedToIt 22
I'd think if anyone was screaming and threatening someone you'd call the police. I'd hate to be your neighbour if I was ever being attacked.
RandKP 21
#25 . In the USA, in every state, threatening someone one with bodily harm is a crime. In addition yelling like that to the point it disturbs other people is call "disturbing the peace" also a crime. Those two facts are what screams "call the cops" to any rational person.
izzajaneful 24
The death threat part.
c0ffeeb3an 15
Fights and sex is pretty much a real time OITNB. You can save on Netflix!
stingray112 24
Corn was born in the morn. That's called alliteration ladies and gentleman... And coffeebean
EwahWeeWah 21
If this continues more than once you can issue a report against them and: A; have them warned. B; Get them removed.
coming back in the future 30
Maybe that was just their foreplay. They might be into rampaging murderers. You never know.
CaptainHonor 15
Hey, look snñr.u
CaptainHonor 15
I'm sorry, my phone completely derped out here and I'm not sure what happened.
ScratchCatPower 32
My phone used to do that too... It used to type random letters and tap different places all over the screen!
CaptainHonor 15
Hey, look on the bright side -- you'll always have your own personal live action **** going on upstairs whenever you decide to **********!
fuckfuckityfuck 16
I'm going to kill you!! **** you!! **** me!!! **** music starts playing
sirrubberduckie 37
Do... do people actually do that?
acerredrum 23
@19, Actually yes. I later found out that when me and my ex went to have sex his uncle would go to the bathroom next to our room to listen. -.-
ScratchCatPower 32
Gah! Well, what a great first impression. Maybe you should consider investing in a pair of earplugs.
coming back in the future 30
Why would you want to block them out?
kingdomgirl94 29
Cause that shit is ******* nasty.
george_s_4 32
I would talk to them first and if they don't cooperate your landlord
feminengineer 7
I feel ya fellow bottom dweller. I had a couple live above me with a squeaky bed a preference for early morning sex.
kingdomgirl94 29
Begin with even earlier morning cooking and cleaning, vaccumes, clanging dishes and loud music to dance to. Nothing kills the mood like chores!
fushengyuan 20
Three hour sex is op
UH60 26
It may not be for everyone, but three hour sex is pretty great.
TheNewGuy03 29
The ****** after sex that long is absolutely ******* mind- and body-numbingly gorgeous. You are basically lying there like a freshly tranquilized opossum writhing in heavenly bliss. The sleep after is the best rest in the universe.