Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, hoping to seal the deal on a promotion, I had my boss over for dinner. My dad, who lives with me, started ranting about homosexuals burning in hell. My boss’s daughter is a lesbian. Now my dad’s nose is broken and I fear for my job. FML
Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML
Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML
Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML
Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML
Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
Today, my dad got promoted and ended up as my boss. I thought I’d finally have a manager I get along with, who could maybe throw a few perks my way. Nope. Dad was very clear that he was going to be a complete bastard to me at work to make absolutely sure no one could accuse him of favouritism. FML
Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML
Today, I brought my mom to my work’s annual party. She insisted on meeting my boss and introduced herself as my "very supportive, overly involved mother." To make it worse, she gave him a lecture about how I was “just too shy” to ask for a raise. My boss is now both confused and terrified. FML
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
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Top comments
Runninvegan 8
Your son needs to get his ass kicked pronto.
hopsinlove17 26
Hopefully your boss was able to tell your kid was being a douche...
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Comments (179)
goose12321 11
What a little shit. You need to discipline him better.
chinagirl3343 8
Ydi your son should've been taught to behave. You fail as a parent. He's 15 and should know better.
chelseahere143 12
Sounds like the stuff most of the guys in my grade would say...
SHUTTHEFRIGUP 3
Take him outside. Talk to him. Then SLAP HIS STUPID ******* FACE AND LET HIM KNOW THAT IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN MUCH WORSE WILL HAPPEN. Problem solved.
jessica1896 2
Hahaha you should go listen to the song
jayfreeman 0
Children act as they are parented. This is obviously totally your fault for failing to teach your child manners and social skills. A great big YDI
eggmarie 25
So all of those kids who come from broken/poor households who go on to be successful are just myths? Because every child turns out exactly like their parents. Clearly.
poorjudgement 26
Kids don't turn out as their parents, but they are they way they have been raised. Somethings are inborn, for sure, but there us no kid that can not learn how to behave, so it is fault of parent(s). It is sad to see that the most logical and intelligent comments are usually getting thumbs-down. :(
darthzerg 7
Way to fail at raising your kid... Here come the thumbs down because people cant handlr the fact that the truth hurts
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yeah, because teens are never rebellious at that age and act like shit, right?
congele 6
This is the point where you kick him out and tell him you just can't afford to support him anymore and that the promotion was supposed to make up the odds but now that you're not getting it he needs to go
pablopoo 7
That song is the shit tho:(
fleurie 6
As a parent, I think this is partially your fault and partially your child's. A serious conversation with a heavy hand of consequences needs to be served. But, I'm guessing that's likely why you're in this boat in the first place -- a lack of consistent consequences for poor behavior. I'd look into Love and Logic. For both of you.