Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, hoping to seal the deal on a promotion, I had my boss over for dinner. My dad, who lives with me, started ranting about homosexuals burning in hell. My boss’s daughter is a lesbian. Now my dad’s nose is broken and I fear for my job. FML
Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML
Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML
Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML
Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML
Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
Today, my dad got promoted and ended up as my boss. I thought I’d finally have a manager I get along with, who could maybe throw a few perks my way. Nope. Dad was very clear that he was going to be a complete bastard to me at work to make absolutely sure no one could accuse him of favouritism. FML
Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML
Today, I brought my mom to my work’s annual party. She insisted on meeting my boss and introduced herself as my "very supportive, overly involved mother." To make it worse, she gave him a lecture about how I was “just too shy” to ask for a raise. My boss is now both confused and terrified. FML
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Runninvegan 8
Your son needs to get his ass kicked pronto.
hopsinlove17 26
Hopefully your boss was able to tell your kid was being a douche...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (179)
xtalondriver 14
Any child who disrespects their parent, as yours did, needs some serious talking to. Such an impetuous child may need a change in parenting styles.
kakarot2 11
You mean beating? Yeah I'm pretty sure you mean beating. I know if that was my son, he would not be able to sit for a week.
TimbitsPrice 3
You should kick the shit out of that little asshole's ass.
medichick 5
Grounded for life lol
annalily5 28
Dumb kid. Doesn't he realize when parents get promotions, they get more money? And when parents have more money they're more likely to buy you that new video game you want. Also, Dumb OP. Doesn't he realize that when you have a dumb teenager you should make sure they are as far away from your boss as possible? Next time the boss comes over for dinner send the kid to a friends.
Migole 36
My thoughts exactly :/ What kind of dumb, inconsiderate kid is he, that he doesn't know that more money is always good?? If I were his parent he'd be locked up in the cellar for the rest of the year, not at a friend's house having fun.
klx125cross 9
Who the **** would YDI this?
annalily5 28
I did both. OP should know his son well enough to send him to a friends house or something when having his boss over for dinner.
outoftown 27
I did. OP did not have his son leave the table at the first rude remark, when so much was on the line for OP.
groundzeromma 8
I did, the only reason the little shit acts like that is bad parenting
SqueakyChipmunk 22
This reminds me of Malibu's most wanted. "He's down with the bitches and hoes"
CCDNRGD81411 3
Squeakychipmunk you really are one of my favorite fml'ers. I prefer you over noor
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Why thank you :)
baronvonstosch 0
What a dick...this is coming from a fifteen year old
drunkandfml 11
When you DO get the promotion don't treat him with anything
kaithekaiser 5
Thats what you get for giving birth to a retard
awkward_gothlady 32
Try a restaurant next time...