Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, hoping to seal the deal on a promotion, I had my boss over for dinner. My dad, who lives with me, started ranting about homosexuals burning in hell. My boss’s daughter is a lesbian. Now my dad’s nose is broken and I fear for my job. FML
Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML
Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML
Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML
Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML
Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
Today, my dad got promoted and ended up as my boss. I thought I’d finally have a manager I get along with, who could maybe throw a few perks my way. Nope. Dad was very clear that he was going to be a complete bastard to me at work to make absolutely sure no one could accuse him of favouritism. FML
Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML
Today, I brought my mom to my work’s annual party. She insisted on meeting my boss and introduced herself as my "very supportive, overly involved mother." To make it worse, she gave him a lecture about how I was “just too shy” to ask for a raise. My boss is now both confused and terrified. FML
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
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Top comments
Runninvegan 8
Your son needs to get his ass kicked pronto.
hopsinlove17 26
Hopefully your boss was able to tell your kid was being a douche...
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Comments (179)
briawbstr 5
Ctfu!!!!
BlackKestrel 1
If you cannot handle your own child, why on earth should you be given greater responsibility at work? You're a terrible parent - a child raised properly wouldn't even dream of doing something like that. You deserved this one.
octopussperm125 18
What a wise man
bobbigirl71 2
BTW..y does Your 15yr old son even know You are "going down" 4 a primotion anyway?What kind of work are U in? U r a terrible Mom& what kind of respect do U expect from any1 if U dnt respect Yourself?Nothing in Your story is OeK to just blab.No sympothy here.Google search "RESPECT" & copy/paiste it!!
BigSexy123 11
...do you know what words are? No, seriously. I don't think you do. Also, shut up, because your point doesn't make any sense.
Yetifoot 0
Makes me ashamed to be 15 :S
Khfan12 13
Oh, wow. I hope he didn't get you fired!
skittlesmeep 4
YDI. I'd cut him off from getting any money after some shit like that.
BigSexy123 11
Really? You're going to blame the parent exclusively for her kid being a little shit? It's not always the parent's fault, you know. Sometimes kids are little fuckwads all on their own. I'm a 19 year old without any children and I STILL know this better than you do.
CoolAidIsMyName 0
Doesn't he know that most times someone gets promotion there's a raise involved?
SoultheWolf 19
Your son is a rude asshole. I really hope you did something afterwards to make him regret it. Takeing away all his video games, phone, TV, and going outdoors privilage might work. FYL